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Tehillim Sixty Nine
An awe-inspiring and wondrous prayer, David composed this psalm referring to a future event, when Sennacherib would surround Jerusalem on Passover, during the reign of Hezekiah. He also prophesies about the good we will enjoy during the Messianic era.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is LamnatzaAch. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 37 verses in Psalm 69. 37 is a number that connects to the "concealed aspect of the Sefirah Binah". This comes from the spelled out Name of HaShem that relates to HaShem.
We say 64 verses on day 12 of the "monthly cycle. 64 is the gematria of the words that translate as "and you all come" and "and Noach" - "and hope". There are many other words with this ngematria as well.
Nitzevet, Mother of David
The bold voice of silence
By Chana Weisberg
Psalm 69
Verse numbers are chanoch best quess since the Hebrew is not provided.
2. Save me, O Gd, for the waters threaten to engulf me . . .
3. I am wearied by my calling out, and my throat is dry. I’ve lost hope in waiting . . .
5. More numerous than the hairs on my head are those who hate me without reason . . .
5a. Must I then repay what I have not stolen?
5b. Mighty are those who would cut me down, who are my enemies without cause . . .
6. O Gd, You know my folly, and my unintended wrongs are not hidden from You . . .
8. It is for Your sake that I have borne disgrace, that humiliation covers my face.
9. I have become a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my mother’s sons.
chanoch adds:In the verse number 9, in the psalm, where David says he was a “stranger” to his brothers, the Hebrew word for stranger, muzar, is from the same root as mamzer—bastard, illegitimate offspring.
10. Out of envy for Your House, they ravaged me; the disgraces of those who revile You have fallen upon me . . .
13. Those who sit by the gate talk about me. I am the taunt of drunkards . . .
21. Disgrace breaks my heart, and I am left deathly sick.
21a. I hope for solace, but there is none; and for someone to comfort me, but I find no one.
22. They put gall into my meal, and give me vinegar to quench my thirst . . .
Psalm 69 Translation taken from The Living Nach, published by Moznaim.
This psalm describes the life of a poor, despised and lowly individual, who lacks even a single friend to comfort him. It is the voice of a tormented soul who has experienced untold humiliation and disgrace. Through no apparent cause of his own, he is surrounded by enemies who wish to cut him down; even his own brothers are strangers to him, ravaging and reviling him.
Amazingly, this is the voice of the mighty King David, righteous and beloved servant of Gd, feared and awed by all.
King David had many challenges throughout his life. But at what point did this great individual feel so alone, so disgraced, and so undeserving of love and friendship?
What caused King David to face such an intense ignominy, to be shunned by his own brothers in his home (“I have become a stranger to my brothers”), by the Torah sages who sat in judgment at the gates (“those who sit by the gate talk about me”) and by the drunkards on the street corners (“I am the taunt of drunkards”)? What had King David done to arouse such ire and contempt? And was there no one, at this time in his life, who would provide him with love, comfort and friendship?
This psalm, in which King David passionately gives voice to the heaviest burdens of his soul, refers to a period of twenty-eight years, from his earliest childhood until he was coronated as king of the people of Israel by the prophet Samuel.
David was born into the illustrious family of Yishai (Jesse), who served as the head of the sanhedrin (supreme court of Torah law), and was one of the most distinguished leaders of his generation. Yishai was a man of such greatness that the Talmud (Shabbat 55b) observes that “Yishai was one of only four righteous individuals who died solely due to the instigation of the serpent”—i.e., only because death was decreed upon the human race when Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge at the serpent’s instigation, not due to any sin or flaw of his own. David was the youngest in his family, which included seven other illustrious and charismatic brothers.
Yet, when David was born, this prominent family greeted his birth with utter derision and contempt. As David describes quite literally in the psalm, “I was a stranger to my brothers, a foreigner to my mother’s sons . . . they put gall in my meal, and gave me vinegar to quench my thirst.”
David was not permitted to eat with the rest of his family, but was assigned to a separate table in the corner. He was given the task of shepherd because “they hoped that a wild beast would come and kill him while he was performing his duties,”comment by Siftei Kohen, on Parasha Vayeshev and for this reason was sent to pasture in dangerous areas full of lions and bears. See First Samuel 17:34–36
Only one individual throughout David’s youth was pained by his unjustified plight, and felt a deep and unconditional bond of love for the child whom she alone knew was undoubtedly pure.
This was King David’s mother, Nitzevet bat Adael, who felt the intensity of her youngest child’s pain and rejection as her own.
Torn and anguished by David’s unwarranted degradation, yet powerless to stop it, Nitzevet stood by the sidelines, in solidarity with him, shunned herself, as she too cried rivers of tears, awaiting the time when justice would be served.
It would take twenty-eight long years of assault and rejection, suffering and degradation until that justice would finally begin to materialize.
David’s Birth
Why was the young David so reviled by his brothers and people?
To understand the hatred directed toward David, we need to investigate the inner workings behind the events, the secret episodes that aren’t recorded in the prophetic books but are alluded to in Midrashim. The story and concepts in this chapter are based on Yalkut HaMachiri, as well as Sefer HaTodaah (section on Sivan and Shavuot). See also an interesting English rendition in the book Don’t Give Up, pp. 187ff.
David’s father, Yishai, was the grandson of Boaz and Ruth. After several years of marriage to his wife, Nitzevet, and after having raised several virtuous children, Yishai began to entertain personal doubts about his ancestry. True, he was the leading Torah authority of his day, but his grandmother Ruth was a convert from the nation of Moab, as related in the book of Ruth.
During Ruth’s lifetime, many individuals were doubtful about the legitimacy of her marriage to Boaz. The Torah specifically forbids an Israelite to marry a Moabite convert, since this is the nation that cruelly refused the Jewish people passage through their land, or food and drink to purchase, when they wandered in the desert after being freed from Egypt.
chanoch adds: Why would a Talmid Chacham entertain doubts about his or her lineage? This comes from a desire to get closern to HaShem by changing oneelf and grow spiritually. The Book of Ruth says that Ruth lay down at the feet of Boaz. He was not intimate at that time. Boaz was intimate with Ruth on his wedding night to her. Boaz died after this intimacy. A Talmid Chacham would question the following: Did he die because the law regarding a Moabitess was the same as for a male Moabite or due to his tikune being completed?
Boaz and the sages understood this law—as per the classic interpretation transmitted in the “Oral Torah”—as forbidding intermarriage with converted male Moabites (who were the ones responsible for the cruel conduct), while exempting female Moabite converts. With his marriage to Ruth, Boaz hoped to clarify and publicize this Torah law, which was still unknown to the masses.
Boaz died the night after his marriage with Ruth. Ruth had conceived and subsequently gave birth to their son Oved, the father of Yishai. Some rabble-rousers at the time claimed that Boaz’s death verified that his marriage to Ruth the Moabite had indeed been forbidden.
Time would prove differently. Once Oved (so called because he was a true oved, servant of Gd), and later Yishai and his offspring, were born, their righteous conduct and prestigious positions proved the legitimacy of their ancestry. It was impossible that men of such caliber could have descended from a forbidden union.
However, later in his life, doubt gripped at Yishai’s heart, gnawing away at the very foundation of his existence. Being the sincere individual that he was, his integrity compelled him to action.
If Yishai’s status was questionable, he was not permitted to remain married to his wife, a veritable Israelite. Disregarding the personal sacrifice, Yishai decided the only solution would be to separate from her, no longer engaging in marital relations. Yishai’s children were aware of this separation.
After a number of years had passed, Yishai longed for a child whose ancestry would be unquestionable. His plan was to engage in relations with his Canaanite maidservant.
He said to her: “I will be freeing you conditionally. If my status as a Jew is legitimate, then you are freed as a proper Jewish convert to marry me. If, however, my status is blemished and I have the legal status of a Moabite convert forbidden to marry an Israelite, I am not giving you your freedom; but as a shifchah k’naanit, a Canaanite maidservant, you may marry a Moabite convert.”
The maidservant was aware of the anguish of her mistress, Nitzevet. She understood her pain in being separated from her husband for so many years. She knew, as well, of Nitzevet’s longing for more children.
The empathetic maidservant secretly approached Nitzevet and informed her of Yishai’s plan, suggesting a bold counterplan.
“Let us learn from your ancestresses and replicate their actions. Switch places with me tonight, just as Leah did with Rachel,” she advised.
With a prayer on her lips that her plan succeed, Nitzevet took the place of her maidservant. That night, Nitzevet conceived. Yishai remained unaware of the switch.
After three months, Nitzevet’s pregnancy became obvious. Incensed, her sons wished to kill their apparently adulterous mother and the “illegitimate” fetus that she carried. Nitzevet, for her part, would not embarrass her husband by revealing the truth of what had occurred. Like her ancestress Tamar, who was prepared to be burned alive rather than embarrass Judah, See Genesis ch. 38, and Midrashim and commentaries on that chapter.
Nitzevet chose a vow of silence. And like Tamar, Nitzevet would be rewarded for her silence with a child of greatness who would be the forebear of Moshiach.
Unaware of the truth behind his wife’s pregnancy, but having compassion on her, Yishai ordered his sons not to touch her. “Do not kill her! Instead, let the child that will be born be treated as a lowly and despised servant. In this way everyone will realize that his status is questionable and, as an illegitimate child, he will not marry an Israelite.”
From the time of his birth onwards, then, Nitzevet’s son was treated by his brothers as an abominable outcast.In the verse in the psalm where David says he was a “stranger” to his brothers, the Hebrew word for stranger, muzar, is from the same root as mamzer—bastard, illegitimate offspring.
Noting the conduct of his brothers, the rest of the community assumed that this youth was a treacherous sinner full of unspeakable guilt.
On the infrequent occasions that Nitzevet’s son would return from the pastures to his home in Beit Lechem (Bethlehem), he was shunned by the townspeople. If something was lost or stolen, he was accused as the natural culprit, and ordered, in the words of the psalm, to “repay what I have not stolen.”
Eventually, the entire lineage of Yishai was questioned, as well as the basis of the original law of the Moabite convert. People claimed that all the positive qualities of Boaz became manifest in Yishai and his illustrious seven sons, while all the negative character traits from Ruth the Moabite clung to this despicable youngest son.
Anointing King David
We are first introduced to David when the prophet Samuel is commanded to go to Beit Lechem to anoint a new king, to replace the rejected King Saul.
Samuel arrives in Beit Lechem, and the elders of the city come out to greet him, nervous at this unusual and unexpected visit, since the elderly prophet had stopped circulating throughout the land. The elders feared that Samuel had heard about a grievous sin that was taking place in their city. Commentaries of Radak and Abarbanel to First Samuel 16:3. Perhaps he had come to rebuke them over the behavior of Yishai’s despised shepherd boy, living in their midst.
Samuel declared, however, that he had come in peace, and asked the elders, and Yishai and his sons, to join him for a sacrificial feast. As an elder, it was natural for Yishai to be invited; but when his sons were inexplicably also invited, they worried that perhaps the prophet had come to publicly reveal the embarrassing and illegitimate origins of their brother. Unbeknownst to them, Samuel would anoint the new king of Israel at this feast. All that had been revealed to the prophet at this point was that the new king would be a son of Yishai.
chanoch adds: Below is the process evaluating the future King of nIsrael by Samuel the Prophet. Why do you think this process is necessary?
When they came, Samuel saw Eliav (Yishai’s oldest son), and he thought, “Surely Gd’s anointed stands before Him!”
But Gd said to Samuel, “Don’t look at his appearance or his great height, for I have rejected him. Gd does not see with mere eyes, like a man does. Gd sees the heart!”
Then Yishai called Avinadav (his second son), and made him pass before Samuel. He said: “Gd did not choose this one either.”
Yishai made Shammah pass, and Samuel said, “Gd has not chosen this one either.”
Yishai had his seven sons pass before Samuel. Samuel said to Yishai, “Gd has not chosen any of them.”
At last Samuel said to Yishai, “Are there no lads remaining?”
He answered, “A small one is left; he is taking care of the sheep.”
So Samuel said to him, “Send for him and have him brought; we will not stir until he comes here.”
So he sent for him and had him brought. He was of ruddy complexion with red hair, beautiful eyes, and handsome to look at.
Gd said: “Rise up, anoint him, for this is the one!” (I Samuel 16:6–12)
The Small One, Left Behind
As Samuel laid his eyes on Yishai’s eldest son, he was certain that this was the future king of Israel. Tall, handsome and distinguished, Eliav was the one whom Samuel was ready to anoint, until Gd reprimanded Samuel to look not at the outside but at the inside.
chanoch adds: A short while after this coronation feast, David was instructed by his father to visit Eliav at the battlefield. A war with the Philistines was imminent, and Eliav lashed out in anger at David. This tendency to anger disqualified Eliav now from the throne. (This event occurred after David was anointed as king. However, according to the commentaries, it is possible that they didn’t understand the implications of the anointing, assuming that Samuel had designated David as a new student in his school of prophecy. Though this was an honor, and an act that would validate David’s lineage, only once David actually became king over the entire nation did his brothers realize his true greatness.
chanoch adds additional comment: Samuel the Prophet lived a long time and includes the souls of Pinchas – Nadav – Avihu – Eliyahu HaTishbi as Iburim – pregnant soul incarnation as taught in our Advanced Reincarnation classes. With all that wisdom and life experience how can it be that Samuel judges people by the exterior and not the inner essence? There are two spiritual teachings that apply. One is an Ibur may leave the peron if an event does not inude their tikune. Two the connection to Hshem and / or Schechinah may be silent ifnthe event has to do with their tikune. As a prophet raised in then Holiness and sanctity of the Mishkan and Ohel Moed Samuel may have become disoriented by the loss of the Iburim and the resounding silence. After all even a prophet is human.
No longer did Samuel make any assumptions of his own, but he waited to be told who was to become the next king. All the seven sons of Yishai had passed before Samuel, and none of them had been chosen.
“Are these all the lads?” Samuel asked. Samuel prophetically chose his words carefully. Had he asked if these were all Yishai’s sons, Yishai would have answered affirmatively, that there were no more of his sons, since David was not given the status of a son.
Instead, Yishai answered, “A small one is left; he is taking care of the sheep.” David’s status was small in Yishai’s eyes. He was hoping that Samuel would allow David to remain where he was, out of trouble, tending to the sheep in the faraway pastures.
But Samuel ordered that David immediately be summoned to the feast. A messenger was dispatched to David who, out of respect for the prophet, first went home to wash himself and change his clothes. Unaccustomed to seeing David home at such a time, Nitzevet inquired, “Why did you come home in the middle of the day?”
David explained the reason, and Nitzevet answered, “If so, I too am accompanying you.”
As David arrived, Samuel saw a man “of ruddy complexion, with red hair, beautiful eyes, and handsome to look at.” David’s physical appearance alludes to the differing aspects of his personality. His ruddiness suggests a warlike nature, while his eyes and general appearance indicate kindness and gentility. This is based on a commentary by the commentator Malbim
At first Samuel doubted whether David could be the one worthy of the kingship, a forerunner of the dynasty that would lead the Jewish people to the end of time. He thought to himself, “This one will shed blood as did the red-headed Esau.” Bereishit Rabbah 63:8.
Gd saw, however, that David’s greatness was that he would direct his aggressiveness toward positive aims. Gd commanded Samuel, “My anointed one is standing before you, and you remain seated? Arise and anoint David without delay! For he is the one I have chosen!” Midrash Tanchuma, Va’eira 6.
As Samuel held the horn of oil, it bubbled, as if it could not wait to drop onto David’s forehead. When Samuel anointed him, the oil hardened and glistened like pearls and precious stones, and the horn remained full.
As Samuel anointed David, the sound of weeping could be heard from outside the great hall. It was the voice of Nitzevet, David’s lone supporter and solitary source of comfort.
Her twenty-eight long years of silence in the face of humiliation were finally coming to a close. At last, all would see that the lineage of her youngest son was pure, undefiled by any blemish. Finally, the anguish and humiliation that she and her son had borne would come to an end.
Facing her other sons, Nitzevet exclaimed, “The stone that was reviled by the builders has now become the cornerstone!” (Psalms 118:22)
chanoch adds from a footnote: The Hebrew word in this verse for “builders,” bonim, is the same root as the word for “sons.”
Humbled, they responded, “This has come from Gd; it was hidden from our eyes” (Psalms, verse 23).
Those in the hall cried out in unison, “Long live the king! Long live the king!” Within moments, the once-reviled shepherd boy became the anointed future king of Israel.
chanoch adds: I have finally understood why it was necessary for others to gift years of life to King David. The 28 years of suffering as “not being Yishai son taught King David to control his angern and generaln blood thirstyness. Adam's 70 years of daylight gave him Chesed while then others gifted then corrected years of night.
Nitzevet’s Legacy
King David would have many more trials to face until he was acknowledged by the entire nation as the new monarch to replace King Saul. During his kingship, and throughout his life, up until his old age, King David faced many ordeals.
King David possessed many great talents and qualities which would assist him in attaining the tremendous achievements of his lifetime. Many of these positive qualities were inherited from his illustrious father, Yishai, after whom he is fondly and respectfully called ben Yishai, the son of Yishai.
But it was undoubtedly from his mother that the young David absorbed the fortitude and courage to face his adversaries. From the moment he was born, and during his most tender years, it was Nitzevet who, by example, taught him the essential lesson of valuing every individual’s dignity and refraining from embarrassing another, regardless of the personal consequences. It was she who displayed a silent but stoic bravery and dignity in the face of the gravest hardship.
It is from Nitzevet that King David absorbed the strength, born from an inner confidence, to disregard the callous treatment of the world and find solace in the comfort of one’s Maker. It was this strength that would fortify King David to defeat his staunchest antagonists and his most treacherous enemies, as he valiantly fought against the mightiest warriors on behalf of his people.
Nitzevet taught her young child to find strength in following the path of one’s inner convictions, irrespective of the cruelty that might be hurled at him. Her display of patient confidence in the Creator that justice would be served gave David the inner peace and solace that he would need, over and over again, in confronting the formidable challenges in his life. Rather than succumb to his afflictions, rather than become the individual who was shunned by his tormentors, David learned from his mother to stand proud and dignified, feeling consolation in communicating with his Maker in the open pastures.
She demonstrated to him, as well, the necessity of boldness while pursuing the right path. When the situation would call for it, personal risks must be taken. Without her bold action in taking the place of her maidservant that fateful night, the great soul of her youngest child, David, the forebear of Moshiach, would never have descended to this world.
chanoch adds: Another explnation for why King David did not have any years of life of his own.
The soul-stirring psalms composed by King David in his greatest hours of need eloquently describe his suffering and heartache, as well as his faith and conviction. The book of Psalms gives a voice to each of us, and has become the balm to soothe all of our wounds, as we too encounter the many personal and communal hardships of life in galut (exile).
As we say these verses, our voices mesh with Nitzevet’s, with King David’s, and with all the voices of those past and present who have experienced unjustified pain, in beseeching our Maker for that time when the “son (descendant) of David” will usher in the era of redemption, and true justice will suffuse creation.
chanoch adds: As a student of Kabbalah Why Chana Weisberg the author left out certain verses and included others?
By Chana Weisberg
Chana Weisberg is the editor of TheJewishWoman.org. She lectures internationally on issues relating to women, relationships, meaning, self-esteem and the Jewish soul. She is the author of six books.
Tehillim Seventy
David prays that his enemies be shamed and humiliated for their shaming him and reveling in his troubles. Then the righteous will rejoice, and chant songs and praises always.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is LamnatzaAch. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 6 verses in Psalm 70. The number 6 connects to the 6 Sefirot of Zeir Anpin.
Tehillim Seventy One
In this awe-inspiring prayer, David speaks of his enemies' desire to kill him, declaring him deserving of death.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is "your HaShem comes". Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 24 verses in Psalm 71. The number 24 connects to the number of hours in a day. 12 of Light and 12 of Dark.
There are 67 verses said on day 13. 67 connects to Hebrew words with the same gematria that translates as " and I" - "and eat". "and your mother". + many other words.
Tehillim Seventy Two
In this awe-inspiring prayer, David speaks of his enemies' desire to kill him, declaring him deserving of death.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is "your HaShem comes". Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 24 verses in Psalm 71. The number 24 connects to the number of hours in a day. 12 of Light and 12 of Dark.
There are 67 verses said on day 13. 67 connects to Hebrew words with the same gematria that translates as " and I" - "and eat". "and your mother". + many other words.
Tehillim Seventy Three
This psalm addresses the question of why the righteous suffer while the wicked prosper, and prays for an end to our long exile. Read, and you will find repose for your soul.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Mizmor. This translates as "His Pease to You". Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 28 verses in Psalm 73. 28 is a number that connects to the Hebrew Word Coah. Other Hebrew words with a gematria of 28 are translated as "and HaShem" - "my sin" - "and tell".
Tehillim Seventy Four
This psalm addresses the question of why the righteous suffer while the wicked prosper, and prays for an end to our long exile. Read, and you will find repose for your soul.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Maskil. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 23 verses in Psalm 74. 23 is a number that connects to the Letters of the Alef Beit after Mashiach; since Mashiach will reveal the 23rd Letter. The number 23 connects to Hebrew words that translate as "and good" - "and tell" - "in the direction of sin" and many other words.
Tehillim Seventy Five
How great is Israel! During their holidays they do not engage in frivolity, but in song and praise, and the study of the holiday's laws. Also, when they proclaimed (at the giving of the Torah), "We will do and we will hear!" they allowed the world to remain in existence. This psalm also admonishes those who indulge in worldly pleasures and attribute their prosperity to their own efforts..
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Lamnatzeach. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 11 verses in Psalm 75. 11 is a number that connects to the 10 Sefirot + the negative system..
Tehillim Seventy Six
This psalm contains the prophecy of when the vast army of Sennacherib was seized with a deep slumber that rendered the hands of the soldiers powerless to raise their weapons; thus did they all fall in battle.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Lamnatzeach. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 13 verses in Psalm 76. 13 is a number that connects to the essence of oneness or unity. The number 13 connects to Hebrew words that translate as "love" - "caring" - "my father" and many other words.
On the 14th day of the month we say 95 Verses. This connects to "The King".
Tehillim Seventy Seven
“The message of this psalm is that to brood on sorrow is to be broken and disheartened, while to see God is to sing on the darkest day. Once we come to know that our years are of His right hand, there is light everywhere.” (Morgan). Once we leave sorrow behind we make hope for joy and happiness.
The above Kavenah is a good Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Lamnatzeach. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 21 verses in Psalm 77. 21 is a number that connects to the Name Ehiyeh. The number 21 connects to Hebrew words that translate as "My Holiday or Feast" - "his issue" - "and Hod" and many other words.
Tehillim Seventy Eight
“This psalm recounts all the miracles that God wrought for Israel, from the exodus of Egypt to David's becoming king over Israel.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Lamnatzeach. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 72 verses in Psalm 78. 72 is a number that connects to the 72 Names of God as well as the spelled out Name of HaShem when spelled with Yood's. The number 72 connects to Hebrew words that translate as "and His coming" - "Chesed = loving kindness" - "with our hands" and many other words.
On the 15th day of the month we say 93 Verses. This connects to Hebrew words that translate as "from a garden" - "and my father knows" - "the river" and many others.
Tehillim Seventy Nine
In this psalm, Asaph thanks God for sparing the people and directing His wrath upon the wood and stones (of the Temple). Still he cries bitterly, mourning the immense destruction: The place where the High Priest alone was allowed to enter-and only on Yom Kippur-is now so desolate that foxes stroll through it!
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Mizmor. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 13 verses in Psalm 79. 13 is a number that connects to the Hebrew word Echad which translates as oneness and unity. Also the Hebrew word that translates as "caring"
Tehillim Eighty
An awe-inspiring prayer imploring God to draw near to us as in days of old.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Lamnatezach. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 20 verses in Psalm 80. 20 is a number that connects to the Kabbalistic concept of 10 Sefirot of direct light and 10 Sefirot of returning light. The Ari teaches that the letter caf, with its gemateria of 20 and its two forms, regular and final, connect to Keter - Crown and the World of Atzilut.
Tehillim Eighty - One
This psalm was chanted in the Holy Temple on Rosh Hashanah, a day on which many miracles were wrought for Israel.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Lamnatezach. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 17 verses in Psalm 81. 17 is a number that connects to the energy of "Goodness".
Psalm 81 was sung in the Temple on Day 5 or Thursday. This connects to the Sefirah of Hod and its essence of thankfulness and appreciation.
Tehillim Eighty - Two
This psalm admonishes those judges who feign ignorance of the law, dealing unjustly with the pauper or the orphan, while coddling the rich and pocketing their bribes.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Mizmor LeAsaf. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 8 verses in Psalm 82. 8 is a number that connects to the energy of Binah - understanding and the term Olam Habah - World that is Coming.
On the 15th day of the month we say 58 Verses. This connects to Hebrew words that translate as "comfort" - "the Garden" - "his son" and many others.
Psalm 82 was sung in the Temple on Day 3 or Tuesday.
Tehillim Eighty - Three
A prayer regarding the wars against Israel in the days of Jehoshaphat, when the nations plotted against Israel.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Mizmor LeAsaf. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 19 verses in Psalm 83. The number 19 relates to the number of years in the Hebrew calendar cycle. 19 is the gematria of Chavah = "mother of life". Also the number 19 is the number of Sefirot in a soul. 10 in the female and 9 in the male. The female is his 10th or Malchut.
Tehillim Eighty - Four
In this psalm of prayers and entreaties, the psalmist mourns bitterly over the destruction of Temple from the depths of his heart, and speaks of the many blessings that will be realized upon its restoration. Fortunate is the one who trusts it will be rebuilt, and does not despair in the face of this long exile.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Lamnatzach. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 13 verses in Psalm 84. The number 13 is the gematria of the Hebrew words that translate as unity - love - and caring.
Tehillim Eighty - Five
In this psalm of prayers and entreaties, the psalmist mourns bitterly over the destruction of Temple from the depths of his heart, and speaks of the many blessings that will be realized upon its restoration. Fortunate is the one who trusts it will be rebuilt, and does not despair in the face of this long exile.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Lamnatzach. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 14 verses in Psalm 85. The number 14 is the gematria of the Hebrew Name David and connects to the Sefirah of Malchut
Commentary on Tehillim 85
However, at Bubby’s it’s open season. From one visit to the next the old folks (me for instance) forget how much mischief their sweet angelic sweethearts can get into. All too soon bits and pieces of games are underfoot and expensive tzatchkes are wobbling on shelves. Stains are created that defy the imagination, and the loveliest of spoiled grandchildren becomes trying on the nerves.
Then comes the big one, that one act of destruction that makes everything else pale into insignificance.
Something irreplaceable breaks, something that is a family heirloom. It’s just the way things are; nothing will stop this from happening. Then words will be said, and the perpetrator of the chaos will be told in no uncertain terms, “Go tell Zeidy you’re sorry!”… "Now!”
The little villain tries to wriggle out of his predicament. After all, he doesn’t want anyone to think he’s not perfect. But Mommy won’t relent. “Right now - go say you’re sorry.”
Well, there’s no getting around it, so our little tzaddikel shuffles into Zeidy’s room. Tears slide down his chubby cheeks as those magic words are intoned, and everything becomes right again.
Like I said, it’s a scene enacted in every home on a regular basis. However, I want you to stop a moment to think about it. What is really happening here? Mischief has been done, the miscreant has paid his debt with his remorse and the most powerful being in his world has shown him that all is well again. What strikes me most is not that Zeidy accepts this apology time and again, but that the child has the faith in his Zeidy’s love to ask for it.
The child is not stupid. He knows he has done things wrong in the past, said sorry, yet once more fallen. How does he come to ask forgiveness yet again? Because he never doubts his Zeidy’s love. That love comes without conditions. A Zeidy loves without reason.
In truth, this love is a facet of the “image of Hashem” we each carry within. Hashem is the Source of all love. He created this place we live in as a sign of His giving character. We, created in His Image, want to give love as well, and we do so to those closest to us.
Much of our davening revolves around our asking forgiveness, even though we have erred time and again. We can do this because within our souls we know that Hashem is a loving Father Who will always be there for us. This is one of the most unique and important factors in our relationship with Hashem. His is a love with no boundaries, and we mere humans mirror these feelings for those close to us.
The psalmist left us many moving passages that express this, one of which is this particular kapitel.
Ratzisa Hashem artzecha…, “Hashem, You have shown favor to Your land, You have returned the captivity of Jacob. You have forgiven the iniquity of Your people; You have pardoned all their sins, sela.”
David sees into the future, and he speaks on one level about our ultimate redemption. There will be a time when we as a people will be returned to Eretz Yisrael. We will live there in a holy state, forgiven for all the sins that came about through the stress of living in galus.David speaks on a personal level as well. He tells us that each of us will be pardoned of our sins as long as we hold onto the realization that we are His people.
Shuveinu Elokei yisheinu…, “Return to us, Hashem of our deliverance, and annul Your anger toward us.”
Just as a miscreant youngster, we too make mistakes. We wreak havoc upon our souls without even realizing how much harm we are doing. Little kids run into their home, shoes filthy with mud, just after Mommy finishes washing the floor – and oops, look what they have done without even realizing it. We don’t see the spiritual mud we traipse into our lives, but our loving Father does.
Hale’olam te’enaf banu…, “Will You forever be angry with us? Will You draw out Your anger to all generations? Will You not indeed revive us again, so that Your people may rejoice in You?”
The child stands near Zeidy’s table; to him it seems huge. He is both frightened and confident at once. He knows that Zeidy can’t always be angry with him. He feels intuitively that Zeidy wants to revive their relationship, that in fact it was never really severed, just obscured. A Yid feels the same way. He asks Hashem to revive him, to give him the needed spiritual insight so he can rejoice in his connection with eternity. Hareinu Hashem chasdecha…, “Show us Your kindness, Hashem, and grant us Your salvation. Let me hear what the Alm-ghty Hashem will speak, for He will speak of peace to His people and to His devoted ones.” The chastised child accepts that his Zeidy wants to show him kindness. We too ask to see Hashem’s kindness, so we can see true salvation. We become free when we accept at all levels that everything sprouts from Hashem’s goodness. When we push aside all the egoistic screens that obscure the voice of Hashem ringing in our ears, then we will hear and und erstand that Hashem’s Torah has always been the truth of all reality. This will bring a peacefulness within us that will be the greatest of kindnesses we could ever hope for.
Chessed ve’emes nifgashu…, “Kindness and truth have met together, righteousness and peace have kissed.”
This sentence is a true marvel. It sweeps our hearts towards real spiritual calm. When Hashem allows us back into His embrace, then everything becomes united and falls into place. The sweetest of feelings come when goodness is balanced in one’s heart and the soft kiss of peace is felt.
Emes me’eretz titzmach…, “Truth will sprout from the earth, and righteousness will look down from heaven.” The Emrei Emes, zy”a, remarked that when you bury falsehood, truth sprouts forth. A child makes a mistake, but from his remorse sprouts a new creative truthfulness. It is creative because it was born from an active act of contrition.
Yidden, Hashem waits to caress our bruised and battered souls. He looks down from the heavens, waiting, waiting…just as a devoted Zeidy waits with love.
Tehillim Eighty - Six
This psalm contains many prayers regarding David's troubles, and his enemies Doeg and Achitophel. It also includes many descriptions of God's praise. Every individual can offer this psalm when in distress.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Lamnatzach. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
There are 17 verses in Psalm 86. The number 17 is the gematria of the Hebrew word Tov which translates as good.
Commentary on Tehillim 85
One of the most complex yet vital aspects of being a good doctor is the ability to diagnose a patient's illness. People will come into a doctor's office thinking that the problem is a cough or a rash, when in fact these may well be symptoms of something much deeper. A good doctor is one who can diagnose and prescribe for the underlying situation, not just that which is superficial.
Furthermore, even after a doctor has made a diagnosis, he has to be able to explain his findings to the patient. It isn't always easy for someone who is ill to accept what is happening. Often, as soon as he hears certain words or indications he turns off, not even taking in what is said. In other words he tunes out and closes his or her ears.
This is true in every facet of life. In health matters one turns to a doctor, seeking the best he can find. "Best" in this context is one who has combined the art of diagnosis with an understandable, bed side manner that will help the patient find his way through his difficulties.
In matters of the soul, well, there, one must go to a rav to whom he can speak. Just as in the physical realm not everything is as it seems, so it is in the world of the soul. In fact, it is all the more true, for when one talks in terms of the neshama, one is actually speaking about levels upon levels of that which makes us who we are.
Everyone in this world is an individual, and this makes the symptoms of malaise in the soul all the more difficult to discern. Take, for example, someone who feels anxious about his job and turns to his rav for a blessing. What is really happening here? Is it the job that needs looking at, or his attitude toward it? Is he really asking for help and a blessing in finding a bit more trust in Hashem? Maybe he really wants to leave what he is doing but is afraid to make that decision?
We all ask for Hashem's blessing regarding our children. What is it we really want for them? Do we want them to grow up as we perceive they should be, or as Hashem created them to be?
So you see, it's all very complicated and difficult. The human creation is a complex one, and our problems of the soul are tinged with every complexity we carry within us. The rav, the rosh yeshiva or rebbe must be able to discern all this while listening. He must hear what's not being said, and understand why it isn't said in the first place. Yes, a manhig's job is not a simple one; it goes beyond knowledge, into the realm of special siyatta dishmaya.
All of Klal Yisrael, in every generation, have the words of one great manhig who spoke to every heart at every level. David Hamelech understood what each of our hearts need, and he gave us his words so we can articulate these needs. In this unique manner, he left us with the tools needed to approach Hashem within our hearts. This kapitel he called a tefilla, a prayer, and in it he touches on many of our fears and ills. Hatei Hashem aznecha aneini…, "Incline Your ear, Hashem, and answer me, for poor and needy am I." David calls himself both poor and needy. Being impoverished is difficult enough, but knowing that you are in need adds to your burden. David asks that Hashem incline His ear and stoop down to the lowly places where we find ourselves.
Shomra nafshi ki chassid ani…, "Preserve my soul for I am devoted; my G-d, deliver Your servant who trusts in You."
Watch what David prays for, and understand that he left this for us as well. Every Yid is devoted to Hashem; it is only the crassness of the material world that covers this devotion and cools its ardor. Thus David prays, "Preserve my soul, Hashem. Deliver me from this madness that I call reality, for I trust in You and realize that everything else is really a mirage."
Chaneini Hashem ki eilecha ekra kol hayom…, "Be gracious to me, my Master, for to You I cry out all the day." True, I may allow my focus to wander, but that loss of focus is in a sense a cry for help. No one who grasps even a bit of the greatness of Hashem could ever find anything else that is worth thinking about. But I am lost, so I ask for graciousness, even if undeserved.
Samei'ach nefesh avdecha…, "Make glad the soul of Your servant, for to You, my Master, I lift up my soul." Hashem, I am so far removed from where I should be that my heart is twisted and contaminated. If You would bless me with gladness, my soul would soar higher and higher.
These words are so beautiful - read them again and again. We ask Hashem, "Please, give me the gift of holy gladness, and my soul will fly oh so close to You. That's the one place it aspires to be, the one space that counts."
Ki ata Hashem tov vesalach…, "For You, my Master, are good and forgiving, and abounding in kindness to all who call upon You." David shares a brilliant blueprint for prayer with us. He asks nothing about material gain and everything about the soul. He teaches us that if the soul is full and rich in Heavenly love, everything else will find its place.
Good, forgiving, kindness - these are all attributes that are beyond the measure of true judgement. No one could survive being judged according to his actual deeds. We have all slipped in our time and need Hashem's special kindness.
Haazina Hashem tefilasi…, "Give ear, Hashem, to my prayer, and listen to the voice of my supplications." Doctors of flesh and blood will take time off, or decide that certain patients are beyond helping. How many times do they say, "Tell them I'm not in," or "I need a break." Hashem listens to the voice of every supplicant, even if that supplicant sometimes only voices his needs and doesn't truly focus on what his lips say. No matter, Hashem hears with His Divine Ear.
Beyom tzarasi ekra'eka…, "In the day of my distress I call out to You, for You will answer me." Gutte Yidden have taught us that when a Yid is troubled, Hashem shares that pain with him. Hashem weeps when we weep, and goes with us into the galus we suffer. By calling out to Hashem in our day of distress, we seek His answer for His sake as well as ours.
Ein kamocha ba'elohim Hashem…, "There is none like You among the gods, my Master, and there is nothing like Your works." This seemingly simple statement is not at all that simple. In truth, many times we make ourselves into a bit of a god, expecting things to go the way we desire. How much thought and focus do we put into trying to tell Hashem how to run the world! But there is nothing, absolutely nothing at all, like Hashem and His works. Everything else is in fact nothing at all.
Horeini Hashem darkecha…, "Teach me, Hashem, Your way that I may walk in Your truth; let me be of one heart to fear Your Name." Our problems start when we stop learning. With this I mean learning about what Hashem is and who we are. Torah is the pathway that can give us this understanding, and when we stop learning we are spiritually dead. If we allow yesterday's insights to calcify into everyday normality, then we are no longer walking on the path. We have stopped and have begun to atrophy. The greatest fear we should have is that we think we know enough.
So we go to our rebbes and our rabbanim, and we ask, we hear, we live. Combined with the help of some thoughtful Tehillim, well, we may even become truly healthy
Tehillim Eighty - Seven
Composed to be sung in the Holy Temple, this psalm praises the glory of Jerusalem, a city that produces many great scholars, eminent personalities, and persons of good deeds. It also speaks of the good that will occur in the Messianic era.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Mizmor and Sons of Korach. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
The sons of Korach went down to Gehinom with their father, after the first earthquake. On e way down they had thoughts of Teshuvah, according to the Midrash. Since they did not have a chance to act on these thoughts, HaShem, in his Mercy, counted their thoughts as actions and brought them back up to this world.
There are 7 verses in Psalm 87. The number 7 connects to the physical world through many aspects of physicality. Some of these are 7 days in a week - 7 colors in a rainbow - 7 continents - 7 notes in music - 7 seas and many others.
We say 70 Verses of Tehillim on day 17 of each Hebrew month. Students of Kabbalah are familiar with this number since it is connected to the 70 nations.
Chapter Eighty-Seven Commentary
The night air is cool and refreshing after the day's heat. You make your way toward the Kosel, feeling a certain sort of anticipation that is unlike any other. As you approach the huge plaza you catch your breath. There is no other sight that matches the one before you. Even if you are able to visit regularly, each sight still gives your heart a surge of spiritual energy.
You walk toward the ancient stones; they seem so dignified yet humble. They have seen so much pain and joy, they seem to be crying and laughing at one and the same time. You gather your bearings; if you are like me, you stroll about for a few moments. You see different group's davening and various individuals unloading their burdens. Some are weeping, others seem ensconced in joyous fervor - no one is the same, for here each person can be who he really is. The small kappel of one Yid and the shtreimel of the next seem perfectly in place, for here every member of every tribe has its warm spot.
You approach the wall and find yourself kissing its stone surface. Strange, the texture is soft, nothing like its hard veneer. The crevices seem made to measure for your own needs, they whisper to your soul, Welcome.
The worn Tehillimel is open in your hand; its words become transit tickets for your heartbreak. You start saying the words of David Hamelech, but the needs of your soul make them yours. Time flies by, was it a few minutes, or hours? No difference, it's time well spent, a time that has healed and renewed.
We often feel dullness in our heart; it's as if we are carrying around something that has died in our deepest recesses. Life's hurts get the better of us; we become worn and weary. We know that we want to be refreshed, and we seek something that will lift us above the careworn plain we find ourselves in.
The Kosel is such a place. It is silent yet alive. It has heard so much and given so much strength throughout the ages.
I remember when Yidden couldn't approach its forlorn stones. Holy Jews would climb up to the tops of nearby buildings just to catch a glimpse of it. They would rip their shirts in anguish over the desolation, not only of the site, but also of their inability to caress the lonely walls.
We have always had a special relationship with these walls, a sort of understanding. Here we can open our hearts and spill out all the burdensome baggage we carry. At this special corner of the world we can sense Hashem's presence more than anywhere else, and feel His comforting touch all the better. Astoundingly, every Yid can find strength in this place. Your background means nothing; it just takes a bit of heart. So you sit there and daven, speaking to Hashem in your own way. You speak silently of things you never feel able to speak about anywhere else. You feel tranquil; the dullness slips away and your feelings are elevated. You rise to go, walking up to the sweet stones once more. Your head rests on their caring surface, ah, so calm, so giving, you don't want to leave, ever. You stay and thank Hashem for this comfort, your heart swells with love, and you are entirely ensconced in the web of Hashem's Will.
Finally you start to leave, walking backwards, stopping every few feet, wanting to remember the sight before you, engraving it in your mind for future reference. There will be other difficult times ahead, and you won't always be able to touch these stones, but they will be within you. These moments will guide your heart.
Sefer Tehillim speaks of Yerushalayim many times, for David wanted us to realize how much this holy place has to offer. In this kapitel we can find many of its attributes. Let's share them together and discover their healing secrets.
Livnei Korach mizmor shir., "A psalm of the sons of Korach, a song, its foundation is in the holy mountains. Hashem loves the gates of Zion more than all the dwellings of Jacob."
This psalm starts with a remarkable insight. The Alshich Hakadosh explains that the son of Korach, Assaf, witnessed his father's demise with great trepidation. He saw how the earth opened at his father's feet and swallowed him up. He feared that with such a dramatic death, his father would never be enabled to return. He then had a prophetic vision that the gates of the Temple would also be swallowed by the earth when the rest of the Sanctuary was destroyed. The vision concluded with the very same gates being raised from the earth to their former glory. Then Assaf declared, "He Who will descend to the bowels of the earth to retrieve the Temple's gates will also raise my father Korach."
With this we find hope for ourselves. No matter how far we may have wandered from our roots, we are never completely lost. Hashem can raise us and bring us back to Him even from the darkest of spiritual pits. The Kosel is a reminder of this, and a depository of all our hopes and prayers.
Nichbados medubar bach., "Glorious things are spoken of you, O city of Hashem, sela."
In times of crises, when we can come and beseech Hashem in His holy place, we realize how glorious this location is. No matter from whence a Jew may come, he becomes enraptured by the awe of these "gates." True, we can find Hashem anywhere, no matter where we roam, but this place is special, and its uniqueness is spoken of by all.
UleTzion ye'amar ish ve'ish yulad bah., "But of Zion it can be said: 'Man after man was born in her,' and He Himself will establish her as the most high."
Every place in this world was created with a purpose. Jerusalem and its Mount were created to breathe new life into man's soul. There is no other place where one can find such renewal. The Rambam tells us that Hashem created the first man on the Har Habayis, and therefore all life emanates from here.
You may well be feeling dull and drained from life's travails, but when you lean over to those inviting weeping stones and feel their calming embrace, you find yourself with new creative hope for tomorrow.
Tehillim Eighty - Eight
The psalmist weeps and laments bitterly over the maladies and suffering Israel endures in exile, which he describes in detail.
The above Kavenah is a traditional Kavenah to use when saying this Psalm.
The first word is Mizmor and Sons of Korach. Please refer to the introduction in Yearning for Redemption PDF file, starting at page 6, for more information.
The sons of Korach went down to Gehinom with their father, after the first earthquake. On e way down they had thoughts of Teshuvah, according to the Midrash. Since they did not have a chance to act on these thoughts, HaShem, in his Mercy, counted their thoughts as actions and brought them back up to this world.
There are 19 verses in Psalm 83. The number 19 relates to the number of years in the Hebrew calendar cycle. 19 is the gematria of Chavah = "mother of life". Also the number 19 is the number of Sefirot in a soul. 10 in the female and 9 in the male. The female is his 10th or Malchut.
Chapter Eighty-Eight Commentary
I find the English language fascinating. It is alive, and keeps coming up with new expressions. Recently I heard a phrase that I found especially distinctive: "Sir, you have lost the plot!"
Now here's a real beauty. Like so many quips, it says a lot in few words. A plot is an idea, a plan, something that one focuses on. To lose it is to become unmindful of what you should be doing. You lose the plot when you forget why you went to the grocery or where you are supposed to meet your next appointment (not that this ever happens to me). Every creation on this earth has a plot, a reason to be where it is. If you forget what that purpose is, well, then you've lost the plot, old man; you just ain't doing what you are meant to do.
This is true for individuals, but it is also true for communities and even nations as well. One great example can be taken by our own historical experience. We were given a place to live, one specifically created as the fountainhead of holiness. The Yidden were meant to live in Eretz Yisrael with kedusha and spiritual awareness. However, our nation lost the plot and became infatuated with the materialism of the land. We became enamored with the idea of gaining wealth and honor, forgetting why Hashem chose us to live in that special place. For this reason we were sent into exile, so as to reawaken our hearts.
Yes, galus was meant to wake us up to our true needs. However, we lost the plot yet again and allowed this situation to become the norm. We allowed ourselves to become visitors of others' places, visitors that crave the wealth and perceived greatness that the others have. It's as if we live our whole life without really acknowledging the role we are meant to play. "A light unto the nations" certainly doesn't mean feeling that the nations are what we aspire to become.
A distinguished rav remarked recently that all too often he senses that Torah Jews are trying to find the joys of materialistic life despite their Torah lifestyle. It's as if they think that real pleasure is found in the secular world, and if they can somehow finesse the fact that they have to do mitzvos, they will have a great old time of it. We see ads that tell us of once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to enjoy a yom tov in the most beautiful spot in the world. We read a bit further and discover that this spot is somewhere in the exotic tropics, not the hills overlooking Jerusalem. Sure, it will be glatt kosher, with a shiur laid on by worthy rabbanim, but it also speaks of horseback riding and campfires under the stars.
The plot is well and truly lost when such activity is mentioned as a life-enhancing, one-time opportunity. There is a fine line between recharging one's batteries with a rest in a picturesque setting, and seeking a lifestyle that bespeaks a secular mindset with kosher provision.
This tendency is nothing new. In every generation Jews have been torn by this dilemma. They have sought to do mitzvos but sometimes tried to find life's joys through superficial means.
Simchas hamitzva is a plot that is unique to the Jewish soul. Everything else exists through the prism of this truth. Our souls can find joy only through being connected entirely to our Torah. Everything else is galus.
However, all too often we forget. We trudge along, allowing ourselves to fall further in the pit of despair while hoping that the next material gimmick will bring fulfilment. But of course it can't - it doesn't relate to our inner soul. It's not part of the plan; it's just an illusion.
Today we are witness to so much plenty. Yidden have never had so much material wealth, yet we see more and more heartache and pain. Things never thought of before, such as divorce, children drifting away, financial ruin, have all become part and parcel of our generation's role call of misery. Why? Perhaps it is because we have lost the plot.
Tehillim speaks of this tragic situation. Those words from way back ring true even today, because we have yet to realize which plot we should be living. Hashem Elokei yeshu'asi., "Hashem, G-d of my deliverance; by day I cried before You, at night I stood before You in prayer."
The supplicant is trying. He feels distraught; for him there is neither day nor night. Life that is aimless is blurred in a maze of nothingness.
Tavo lefanecha tefilasi., "Let my prayer come before You, incline Your ear to my song. For my soul is satiated with troubles, and my life approaches the grave." There are times when this galus is so deep that we can no longer raise our voice. It's like a weight lying on our heart. Our travails came about because we forgot why we are the nation of Hashem. Now, as we sit in the darkness of galus, we realize exactly what sort of satiation we have attained. We haven't grown fat with the joys of the material life. Instead we have become dumfounded by its emptiness.
Nechshavti im yordei bor., "I am counted with those who go down to the pit, I have become like a man without strength."
Losing the focus of my life, I am falling into the abyss of the pit.
These words are full of despair, yet they must be said at some point. If we don't wake up, if we just continue our jumbled existence, then they will be the words of our own disaster. The plot, dearest Yidden, the plot is for us to be shaken awake to our true abilities.
The spiral of despair goes further:
Hirchakta meyuda'ai mimeni., "You have estranged my friends from me, You have made me an abomination to them; I am imprisoned and cannot get out."
I thought that by living in "the real world," the others would like me. What folly; they despise me. They hate me for what I should be and for what I'm not. I live in a prison of my own making, locked in by the self-delusion of my misplaced will.
Oni ani vegove'a mino'ar., "I am afflicted and at the point of sudden death; I have borne Your sudden terrors which have become part of me."
In the darkness of our galus it sometimes seems that nothing can stop our fall. Hashem's wakeup-calls seem to go unanswered. Yes, we cry out for a moment, we say we want to return, and then we get back on the road to nowhere. It's as if we wear the cloak of our superficiality with welcomed aplomb.
Unfortunately, there are no quick fixes for our pain. Each of us must come to our own understanding of what we strive for. Our mitzvos must become wholesome, free of self-serving posing. We must each find the plot once more, before we reach that final plot, the one reserved in the earth for all mortal remains.
Notice that this kapitel was written by the sons of Korach, people who knew a thing or two about the emptiness of a misplaced life. They designate it as a song, which may seem strange. Perhaps a dirge would have been a better expression for what they said, but no, song it is. Why? Because they knew we would one day wake up and return to our rightful role, and then all the despair would dissipate.
The very pain we live through today will be the stepping-stone for our future redemption.
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