Think Upon a Matter Part 2

This continues our meditations and contemplations from Tu B'Av to Rosh HaShana

Actually this page which is part 2 commences with the full moon of Elul on the 15th of Elul

Thought (machshavah) consists of the letters Chashav-Mah (think of Mem-Hei) -Mem-Hei refers to Yud & Hei & Vav & Hei, fully spelled with Aleph יוד הא ואו הא

Because of Jacob, who is called Israel, it is written: "So G-d created man in His own image" (Beresheet 1:27) after the likeness of his Master. See the atttached yichud/meditation featuring this Name to purify one's thoughts during this 45-day period.

From the Ari: the word Mach’shava (thought) can be read as Cha’Shav Mah (think of MaH). This means that one should visualize five times the extended expansion of Hashem’s Name Havaya filled with Alefs, called MaH, like so:

יוֹד יוֹד הֵא יוֹד הֵא וָׁאו יוֹד הֵא וָׁאו הֵא

יוֹד יוֹד הֵא יוֹד הֵא וָׁאו יוֹד הֵא וָׁאו הֵא

יוֹד יוֹד הֵא יוֹד הֵא וָׁאו יוֹד הֵא וָׁאו הֵא

יוֹד יוֹד הֵא יוֹד הֵא וָׁאו יוֹד הֵא וָׁאו הֵא

יוֹד יוֹד הֵא יוֹד הֵא וָׁאו יוֹד הֵא וָׁאו הֵא

During the next 45 days, return to this meditation several times daily, to become an Adam, a Mensch.

Meditation for 15th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

R. Pinchas Kehoti interprets: "in a place where there are no men": if there are none in your city from whom you can learn Torah, then "strive to be a man." and study by yourself according to your ability to become a man of wisdom and upright character.

This seems to conflict with a later Mishna which quotes Scripture: . ואל בינתך אל תשען Translation: 'And do not rely on your own Binah/understanding' (Proverbs 3:5)."

On this verse, Ralbag points out that an attitude of self-reliance causes a person to forfeit the Divine assistance that he would normally receive. Hashem's will is that man be cognizant of Divine Providence. One who relies on his own intelligence, however, indicates his own feeling that Divine assistance is unnecessary. But they are not necessarily contradictory: if there is no one nearby to learn with or from, study by yourself and pray to Hashem to open up your eyes to reveal His wonders!

Contemplate: Today is the 15th of a Hebrew month. This is the full moon for each Hebrew month representing the full sharing of the energy of that month. This month of Elul relates to support our efforts toward doing Teshuvah. Utilize this energy as a boost to continue or start your efforts to do Teshuvah and contemplate how to implement this boost for the rest of the period through Yom Kippur.

Meditation for 16th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Midrash Shmuel reflects: This refers to a person who lives amongst non-observant people. Since they may not keep mitzvoth, and thereby, fail to fulfill their purpose as human beings, one must take care not to be affected by their behavior, and must continue to fulfill one's own purpose as a Jew.

Even if they mock him for fulfilling mitzvot, he should not feel embarrassed, since the embarrassment a sinner's soul feels in the Next World is much stronger than any ridicule one can suffer in This World.

The above commentary adds fuel to the debate over whether for Orthdox Jews it is permissible or even preferable to have serious relations with non-observant Jews and movements.

From a practical or strategic point of view it is very difficult to evaluate the claim that only the separatists will manage to maintain Orthodoxy in a pure form, or the counterclaim that Judaism can only be united as a result of communication between Orthodox and non-Orthodox Jews. However, from a philosophical point of view, it may be instructive to consider the implications of the following story which is related concerning the great sage, the Vilna Gaon:

It is related that the Gaon of Vilna happened to be at an inn with a companion. During mealtime, the two rabbis sat at one table while at another table was seated another Jew who was completely non-observant. He neither washed nor did he recite any blessing before the meal. Yet at the conclusion of the meal, the Gaon invited this Jew to join in a mezuman,for the blessing after the meal. The man replied in a scoffing tone: Don't you see that I am an apikores? I have nothing to do with mitzvot and blessings.To which the Gaon answered, 'That you did not wash and did not recite a blessing and call yourself an apikores does not change the fact that you are a Jew. You have just finished eating; as a Jew you are obligated to bless your G-d. All your past transgressions cannot erase your present obligation to join in our mezuman.'

The Gaon felt that all Jews, regardless of their level of observance, are still Jewish and still belong. Torah's claim is upon all Jews. In a similar vein, one should also consider the halakha that if one sees a fellow Jew in danger, one is obligated to do whatever one can to save that person's life.

This rule does not obligate one to ask whether that person is an Orthodox, Conservative or Reform Jew. The question to be decided is whether the "danger" referred to in this law is merely physical or if it should also be considered spiritual as well. The future of Klal Yisrael may indeed hang on the answer which we provide.

Baruch hagever asher yivtach baHashem (Blessed is the man that trusts in Hashem), and whose mivtach (confidence) is Hashem. A mensch should bentsch [see above] and recognize his/her reliance on Higher Powers. In a powerful affirmation that we quote in daily prayers as well as in the Grace After Meals, the Prophet Jeremiah tells us that trust spawns certainty, and certainty breeds success:

Baruch hagever asher yivtach baHashem v’hayah Hashem mivtacho—Blessed is the man who trusts in G-d; G-d will be his security.” Cultivating such trust is a lifelong project. It calls for making room in our awareness for a Higher Power, relying on G-d as the source of all challenges and blessings. It means acknowledging this Source regularly, learning about G-d and communicating with Him on a regular basis, keeping His number on speed dial on our metaphorical cell phones. This can be achieved through meditation and prayer.

Contemplate: How can you increase your certainty. One method that has proven effective is to intertwine your Name in Hebrew Letters with the Hebrew / Aramaic word for Certainty Vadai - Vav Dalet Alef Yood.

Meditation for 17th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

The Kabbalistic Commentary Perach Shoshan links "man" with a tzaddik and comments:

Seek mercy for the generation

Hillel's teaching means that if sins are multiplied below, and if there is no man to inspire others to return to be good, then you should strive to be the one to warn them to return to be good.

Seek mercy before Hashem, may He be blessed, and with this you will receive the reward for all who follow. You will be considered in the secret of the Tzaddik/righteous one, as it says "the righteous is the Yesod/foundation of the world".

The Sefer Bahir #102 teaches: We learned: There is a single pillar extending from heaven to earth, and its name is Righteous (Tzadik) . [This pillar] is named after the righteous. When there are righteous people in the world, then it becomes strong, and when there are not, it becomes weak. It supports the entire world, as it is written, "And Righteous is the foundation of the world." If it becomes weak, then the world cannot endure.

Therefore, even if there is only one righteous person in the world, it is he who supports the world. It is therefore written, "And a righteous one is the foundation of the world." You should therefore take My lifted offering from him first.

The Zohar Vayikra III:14 adds: We have learned that when there are many righteous men in the world, the Holy One, blessed be He, rejoices and takes pride in them. We have learned that when a righteous man is in the world and dwells in it, he brings peace to the world, and the whole world is blessed for his sake. He brings peace to the retinue above.

Whence do we know that? From the verse: "Or let him take hold of my strength, that he shall make peace with Me; peace shall he make with Me" (Yeshayah 27:5). Why is peace mentioned twice here? Because "he shall make peace with Me" means he brings peace to Male and Female, while "peace shall he make with Me" is when the patriarchs are blessed.

What is the difference between them?"? Rabbi Yosi said, When the patriarchs are blessed, "peace shall he make with Me" as peace precedes everything. Peace is therefore first. "He shall make peace with Me": Why here does not the word peace come first? Because the serpent should first be removed, which dwells by the female. Then the male will come to dwell in His place . Hence "he shall make" comes first then there is "peace."

We learned that when there is a righteous man in the world, no Judgment stirs or rules over the world because that righteous man is a sign in the world. The Holy One, blessed be He, desires his honor, and the world exists due to him!

We learned that Rabbi Yosi said that when men are found guilty before the Holy One, blessed be He, if there is a righteous man in the world, the Holy One, blessed be He, will be reconciled with them, and will influence him so that the man asks for mercy on behalf of the world.

What does the Holy One, blessed be He, do? He speaks with him about the wicked men of the world and tells him He will be good to him alone and destroy everybody. What course does the righteous man take? He minds not himself, but takes it on himself on behalf of the whole world, so that the Holy One, blessed be He, will be reconciled to them.

Whence do we know that? From Mosheh. When the Holy One, blessed be He, said to him: Yisrael have sinned, "they have made them a molten calf, and have worshipped it..." (Shemot 32:8), he also said to him: "Let Me alone, that I may destroy them..." (Devarim 9:14). Moshe then said, If for the sake of my honor Yisrael shall be annihilated from the world, then I prefer death rather than have them say that for my honor I neglected that of the whole world. Straightway, "And Mosheh sought Hashem his G-d" (Shemot 32:11) and delivered himself to death several times for Yisrael, as written, "Yet now, if You will forgive their sin; and if not, blot me, I beg you, out of Your book..." (Ibid. 32).

We learned that Mosheh did not move from there until the Holy One, blessed be He, forgave Yisrael. Hence, it says, "Hashem relented of the evil which He thought to do to His people" and "Hashem said, I have pardoned according to your word" (Bemidbar 14:20). Thus as explained there is a reward in seeking mercy for the generation, and to strive to return them to goodness, for he then joins the tzaddik with tzedek. And also He merits to teach the tzadik, and the world is established through him, for "the righteous is the foundation of the world

Contemplate: How, Where, When can you pray for the world? Even if you do not consider yourself a Tzadik or a Mentsch does not your prayers also work? Are you sure that this action of praying for the world does not make you a mentsch even for this moment?

Meditation for 18th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

"Strive to be a man" has been viewed by some as "be a leader"

Hillel earlier in Pirke Avot [Chapter 1, Mishnah 14] famously taught a message that can also be seen as a message to a leader: If I am not for myself: Teach the people yourself with total devotion, like Mosheh, who taught all of Israel and did not leave the job to his elder students (Eruvin 54b).

But if I am only for myself: You cannot be satisfied with the fact that you are teaching your students in such a way that they become teachers as well, just as Mosheh’s close students (Aharon and his sons and the seventy elders) taught Torah to the entire nation.

If not now, When?: If you do not teach your flock "now" --while they are young-- you will find it much harder to influence them when they are older (the Lubavitcher Rebbe in Biurim)

Contemplate: What other adages that you have heard might you consider interpreting differently than you understand them now.

Meditation for 19th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

In Chasei Avot, a collection of teachings by Rebbe Nachman and Rabbi Natan, it says on this Mishnah: My son, always go to another person to give you encouragement, for:

טוֹבִׁים הַשְנַיִׁם, מִׁן-הָאֶחָד אֲשֶר יֵש- לָהֶם שָכָר טוֹב, בַעֲמָלָם .

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.

י כִׁי אִׁם-יִׁפלֹוּ, הָאֶחָד יָקִׁים אֶת-חֲבֵרוֹ; וְאִׁילוֹ, הָאֶחָד שֶיִׁפוֹל, וְאֵין שֵנִׁי, לַהֲקִׁימוֹ .

For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falls, and has not another to lift him up

However in a place where there are no men, strengthen yourself, and then you won't despair, rather "strive to be a man- Ish", which is the initial letters of Ayn Shum Ye'ush Klal", for there is no despair at all! Take yourself by your hand, and strive to encourage others and enlighten them, for

'אין ייאוש בעולם כלל

Ein ye'ush ba'olam klal.

There is no despair in the world as taught in Likutey Moharan II: 78.

Also know that you have the power to be able to enliven the entire world, as each person must say "The entire world was created only for my sake" [Sanhedrin 37], and because the world was created for my sake, I must constantly look into and consider for ways on making the world better, to provide what is missing in the world and to pray on its behalf [Likutey Moharan I:5]

This is the meaning of "in a Makom/place where there are no men", meaning that the word Makom/place is the gematria of the Shem Havaya, in which Yod times Yod, Heh times Heh, Vav times Vav, and Heh times Heh = 186, that of Makom. So you should consider only Hashem, and know that because you are "in a place/Makom", meaning the complete attachment to G-d, you will then strengthen yourself to encourage others, for there is no greater thing than this, for when person can bring himself to holy service, to strengthen and encourage others and to bring their hearts to their Father in Heaven, to connect their thoughts to the World to Come, praiseworthy is he!

Contemplate: Where / when in your life you have despaired from receiving HaShem's Love and goodness? What do you do to have a partner in your work to help and share with the world.

Meditation for 20th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

On the subject of "Be a Mentsch" Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes: In the account of creation, G-d created everything...however when He was about to create a human being, we find a strange expression: "And G-d said, 'Let us make man.'" Us? Whose help was G-d enlisting and why did he create everything in the universe without anyone's participation, yet apparently could not create man by Himself.

The Baal Shem Tov [whose birthday is 18 Elul - this Shabbat!] explained that everything in the universe was created in a sate of completion. Little bears grow to be big bears, but do not change themselves. The transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly is not a volitional act by the caterpillar, but rather a metamorphosis programmed into its genes. Angels, too, were created complete. G-d, for reasons known only to Him, wanted to have a being that would be different from any other creature, in that it would be created incomplete, in a state of potential, and by its own effort would strive towards perfection. This creature would be "man."

G-d could have created man in a state of completion, but then man would have been either animal or an angel, not the being that G-d wished. Therefore, the Baal Shem Tov said, G-d says to man, "Let us make man," you and I together. I will give you the potential to become man, but you must develop that potential, and by your own effort, become the "man" that I desire.

In these our last 13 days before our re-creation on Rosh Hashana, let us examine 13 potentials unique to man and which animals lack.

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes: A human being becomes a mensch when he implements those potentials that are unique to man and which animals lack. In addition to greater intelligence, [a] uniquely human feature [is]:

(1) the ability to learn from the history of past generations: The Torah teaches: Remember the days of old; understand the years of generation after generation. Ask your father and he will relate to you, your elders and they will tell you (Deut. 32:7).

George Santyana famously said: "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." This is important in general, but what about our individual particulars?

A mensch has the capability to learn from mistakes made in his or her own prior incarnations, namely, the different stages of his or her life. And he or she needs to contemplate how to do teshuva/return.

To begin to remedy an action, one has to understand its full ramifications. If we have been irresponsible in the past year; if we have failed to live up to our responsibilities to our parents, our spouse, our community, our nation - we cannot simply say, well, I "did" that. I cannot say: "It's true that I ignored them because I was busy." - Busy making a living, studying for finals, or doing a hundred other things. Modern society makes extensive demands on a person.

But here is precisely the point. Is Vidduy simply a technical affirmation? No! What does confession do? After all I do have many excuses and explanations to justify my lapses, my faults.

Rather, it is only with the feeling of acceptance of the full weight of the act that the implications - the hurt, the irresponsibility, the effects, the hardships and pain inflicted - the notion of guilt sink in.

Suddenly I begin to realize that my "innocent" actions, are indeed harmful. And only once I accept the significance of my betrayal, I can begin to make amends. Why only now? - Because now I have taken responsibility for my actions. Because now I am ashamed! How could I have ignored my duties: How could I have shirked my basic parental responsibility just in the race to make money? How could I have closeted myself into my own personal agenda to the exclusion of my People? After Vidduy/confession I begin to take responsibility. Only now I can begin to atone for my sins.

Vidduy turns an "act" into a "sin." I accept that my excuses are not enough; that I have committed a crime. And this is the starting point from which we might begin to rebuild, to repair, to grow. And that is what a mensch's goal is, a worthy goal indeed.

Rabbi Telushin's 13 steps to Developing Goodness

Judaism regards improving character as the goal of life. As the Midrash teaches, "The Torah's commandments were not given to humankind for any purpose other than to refine people" (Genesis Rabbah44:1).

Based on Jewish teachings, here are 13 paths towards becoming a person of goodness.

1. Do good deeds often. We become good people not by thinking good thoughts but by doing good deeds again and again, until they become part of our nature. Maimonides teaches that it is better to give needy recipients one gold coin on a thousand different occasions than to give someone a thousand gold coins all at the same time, for "if he opens up his hand again and again one thousand times, the trait of giving becomes part of him" (commentary on The Ethics of the Fathers 3:19).

Contemplate: How doing a Mitzvah over and over causes changes within yourself? Do this for many different Mitzvot. What if you have been doing a particular Mitzvah frequently consider how you have changed yourself by these actions.

Meditation for 21st of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes: A human being becomes a mensch when he implements those potentials that are unique to man and which animals lack. In addition to greater intelligence, [a] uniquely human feature [is]:

(2) the ability to search for the truth: "All the ways of a person are right in one's own eyes" (Mishlei 21:2).

Some people may do something wrong even though they know that it is wrong, but the overwhelming number of people believe that what they are doing is right, and are often very resistant to any suggestion that they may be wrong.

Perhaps this is the greatness of the patriarch Abraham in his willingness to sacrifice his son, Isaac. For decades, Abraham vociferously protested the pagan ritual of human sacrifice. "G-d would never desire human sacrifice. This is an abomination!" If he carried out the Divine command to bring Isaac as an offering, he would have to declare, "All my life, I have been in error." Abraham was willing to do so. It is a sign of greatness to admit that one was wrong.

We are often victims of self-deception. When we have a desire to do something, the defense mechanisms in our subconscious minds can develop ingenious reasons why what we wish to do is right and proper. This is termed rationalization. We concoct logical reasons for what we wish to do and we believe them, and if criticized, we vigorously defend our mistakes.

Rabbi Eliahu Dessler in Michtav M'Eliyahu (Search for Truth) has a powerful essay on "the Perspective of Truth." He cites the Torah statement that "a bribe will blind the eyes of a judge and distort even the thoughts of the righteous" (Devarim 16:19). We are all bribed by our desires, and we cannot think objectively. We rationalize our behavior. The Talmud says that even the minutest bribe can bring about a distortion of judgment.

The tzaddik of Apt was a judge in a litigation that went on for several days. Abruptly, he withdrew from the case, saying he had lost his objectivity.

On Friday evening, when he put on his Shabbos kaftan, he found an envelope with money that one of the litigants had put into a pocket. "Now I understand why I lost my objectivity. A litigant had tried to bribe me by putting money in my kaftan. Even though I did not discover the bribe until several days later, my thinking had shifted to favoring him. I did not know why this was happening, but I felt that I had lost my objectivity. That is the power of a bribe. It can distort your judgment even if you are unaware of the bribe." How much more so are we subject to distortion when the "bribe" is within us, and has the power of a strong desire!

A chassid asked Rebbe Yisrael of Rhizin for a guideline to avoid faulty decisions. The rebbe told him that the way a tightrope walker keeps his delicate balance to avoid falling to his death, is that when he feels a tug to one side, he leans a bit to the other side. "Many of your desires arise from the yetzer hara. When you feel an urge to do something, pause and think of reasons why you should not do it. That may enable you to keep your balance, to do what is right."

One is bribed into rationalization. Rabbi Dessler states that intense learning of mussar and sincere prayer for Divine guidance can protect us from dangerous self-deception.

Bilam was no fool. He was told in no uncertain terms that Hashem would not allow him to curse Israel, and he obviously knew the infinite power of Hashem. Yet, his hatred for Israel distorted his judgment, and he tried to do what he logically knew he could not do.

If we wish to do what is right, we must be on the alert and on the defensive. Our defense mechanisms operate in the subconscious part of our minds which is "cunning, baffling and powerful." We must exercise our conscious mind to the limit with prayer and mussar to avoid self-deception.

Rabbi Telushin's steps to Developing Goodness 2. Cultivate the friendship of people who are both good and wise.

In his "Laws of Character Development" (6:1), Maimonides says, "It is in the nature of human beings to be influenced in their opinions and actions by their friends and neighbors....Therefore, a person should strive to become friendly with righteous people, and to stay in the presence of those who are wise, so that one will learn from their actions."

Experiencing friendships like these and spending time among kind people will inspire us to want to become better. If, for example, we spend time in a household where the family members speak to each other in a consistently loving manner, it is likely that we--at least while we are with these people--will also speak in a calmer, more loving way.

The same wisdom applies when we seek out a new home. Whereas most of us chose a home based on its beauty, from a Jewish perspective it is more important to ascertain the character of the people who live in the neighborhood--the environment in which we and our children will live and the people with whom we will associate. The better their characters, the more likely we and our children will grow in goodness

Contemplate: How the people around impact your thoughts and ideas about who you are? Are you in the right place to develop more spiritually?

Meditation for 22nd of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Mercury turns to follow the positive path today. It is recommended that one give this a few days before one lets the guard down since it will take approx a week for Mercury to reach the point on the path where it started to go retrograde.

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes the third item is:

3) the ability to reflect on the purpose and goals of life: We all wish to live a meaningful life. But why are we living? What are we doing in this world?

To find the answer to this central question we must look in the very book of life itself – the Torah, which is called Torat Chaim (a living Torah). The word “Torah” means “instruction” or “guidance”, for the Torah is our guide in life. The Torah makes us constantly aware of our duties in life; it gives us a true definition of our purpose, and it shows us the ways and means of attaining this goal.

With the Torah as our blueprint, our map, our cornerstone, our template, we would do well to heed the advice of King Solomon, the wisest of all men, when he wrote at the end of the book of Kohelet:

סוֹף דָּבָּר, הַכלֹ נִׁשְמָּע: אֶת-הָּאֱלֹהִׁ ים יְרָּא וְאֶת-מִׁצְו תָּיו שְמוֹר , כִׁי-זֶה כָּל-הָּאָדָּם

Ultimately, all is known; fear G–d, and observe His commandments; for this is the whole purpose of man. In the words of our Sages, “I was created for the sole purpose of serving my Maker.”

A mensch is always thinking about G-d, and how his or her purpose is to fulfill G-d's Will.

Rabbi Telushin's steps to Developing Goodness 3.

Avoid people with bad character and unkind dispositions. The Book of Psalms [1:1] states: "Fortunate is the person who doesn't follow the advice of the wicked, who doesn't associate with sinful people, and who doesn't spend time among scoffers." People with bad characters can easily influence us to become like them. The contagious quality of bad character helps explain the phenomenon of children from "good homes" who engage in self-destructive and/or criminal behavior. Frequently they have been swayed by bad companions who exert a stronger influence.

Contemplate: Are your companions a good influence upon you? Are you a good influence for others? How can you improve your influence upon others? Usually this means acting right rather than words of admonition.

Meditation for 23rd of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes the fourth item is:

(4) the ability to have a self-awareness:

We often delude ourselves, or at least misjudge ourselves. Yet in order to achieve true spiritual excellence we'd need to know who we are at any given moment, the circumstances we find ourselves in just then, and what effect we're having on others that very instant. That's to say, we'd need to develop self-awareness and other-awareness. But on two levels: spiritually and materially. Let's explain.

In short, "spirit" is the heart of the matter, a thing's inner presence, its electric center. While "matter" is the full and wide range of things associated with that thing. In human terms that refers to a person's heart, soul, and intentions, as opposed to his or her circumstances and surroundings.

When we're self-aware on a "spiritual" level, we know our hearts, our souls, and our intentions. And when where other-aware, we're sensitive to others' heart, souls, and intentions. When we're self-aware on a "material" level we're aware of our surroundings, the way we affect others, and how much our actions matter to the other person. And when we're other-aware on a material level we're aware of the other's surroundings, how he or she is affecting us, and how much what he or she is doing is affecting us. But, again, we often misjudge ourselves and those around us-- both materially and spiritually-- simply because we're often not self- or other-aware.

As such, we very often undervalue the things we do, and forget the good intentions we have, and the kindly and sensitive ways we respond to others in many situations. And contrarily we oftentimes overvalue ourselves, and discount our untoward intentions, how often or to what extent we hurt others or lapse into wrongdoing.

Among the many things Mussar (Jewish ethics and values) teaches us is the art of self- and other-awareness. And it places great weight on those skills, in the belief that each one of us is ultimately reponsible for his or her spiritual station at each and every moment. As such, we'd need to be aware of what we have in mind, what we're feeling, and what effect we're having at any given moment if we're to do what's right.

Rabbi Telushin's steps to Developing Goodness Judaism regards improving character as the goal of life. As the Midrash teaches, "The Torah's commandments were not given to humankind for any purpose other than to refine people" (Genesis Rabbah 44:1).

Based on Jewish teachings, here is one of the 13 paths towards becoming a person of goodness.

4. Live up to the reputation to which you aspire. Judaism places great value on maintaining a good name. Even at the time when men dominated the household, the rabbis ruled that if a man forbade his wife from helping her neighbors, she could have a court compel him to grant her a divorce.

Otherwise the woman would acquire a bad name among her neighbors (Ketubot 72a). My grandfather, Rabbi Nissen Telushkin, used to advise people, "Don't be so concerned with being humble that you try to hide from others all knowledge of the good you do. It is good to be known as something of a tzaddik, a righteous person.

If nothing else, you'll be afraid to do something bad because you'll fear that it will become known, and will harm your good name." In short, if you're proud to have a good name, you will never want to do something to sully your reputation.

Contemplate: Do you truly have a good name? Why is that true? or not true? How can you change your reputation to be better? Meaning actions while still trying to maintain a humble aspect?

Meditation for 24th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes the fifth item is:

(5) the ability to choose to improve oneself:

Feel like every day is a challenge? Like you're clambering up a mountain all day, only to start again tomorrow? That's not unusual, it's the way life is supposed to be. Every day, we have a mountain, a spiritual Mount Everest, to climb. Every day, I'm faced with the challenge of scaling my inner self, reaching the peak of my psycho-spiritual range, lifting myself from the base of life's mountain. It takes a lot of internal stamina to work against the gravity of self-interest. So, to properly guide my life, it's actually helpful to get a better understanding of mountain climbing.

According to what I read, I'd need three important elements for my adventure:

1. I need to know where I'm going; I'd need a charted path to know which trail(s) I'm going to follow.

2. I need to be in good shape. It a takes a lot of strength to haul myself up an incline, straining against gravity's natural pull.

3. I need to have the right clothing. King David asks: "Who will ascend the mountain of G-d?" (Psalms 24:3).

Our daily prayer helps us to answer that call by training and equipping us in these three fundamental areas:

1. We need to have a vision, a purpose, in life. Prayer is a time for me to crystallize that purpose and commit myself to a path that will achieve it.

2. I need to find the stamina in order to overcome self-absorption's gravitational pull. Self-indulgence is the flip side of a meaningful life. A self-centered day begins with the question "what do I want out of life?" A meaning-centered day begins with the question "what does life want out of me?" It takes a lot of internal stamina to work against the gravity of self-interest. It takes spiritual strength, and prayer is your workout.

3. "Clothe" your soul appropriately. Chabad teachings describe the soul as having three "garments": thought, speech, and action. The way we think, speak and act are the way we interface with the world.

And prayer is a time for focus on that interface. In other words, it's a time to ask myself: Does my "clothing" gets in the way of my daily climb? Where does my mind wander? How do I think about my fellow? Do I communicate transparently and sensitively?

These are questions for our daily prayer; accessorizing ourselves for the day's ascent. It's a daily climb.

And, every day, some prayer and introspection will help you toward your peak.

Rabbi Telushin's steps to Developing Goodness - Judaism regards improving character as the goal of life. As the Midrash teaches, "The Torah's commandments were not given to humankind for any purpose other than to refine people" (Genesis Rabbah44:1).

Based on Jewish teachings, here is a paths towards becoming a person of goodness.

5. See every act you do as one of great significance. Maimonides suggests that we regard ourselves as being equally balanced between good and evil, and the world itself as similarly balanced. Thus, a single good act will tip the balance toward good in our own life, and in the world. Conversely, one bad deed will tip the balance toward evil ("Laws of Repentance" 3:4).

Criminologists know that when broken windows in a neighborhood remain unrepaired, crime, including violent crime, in the area increases; the shattered glass becomes a signal to potential offenders that this is a neighborhood where disorder is accepted and crime tolerated. Fixing broken windows can thereby tip the balance of the neighborhood toward more civil behavior; and ignoring such a seemingly minor detail might pave a path toward moral deterioration.

Contemplate: Do I make a daily connection like prayer to follow the advice of todays meditation?

Meditation for 25th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes the sixth item is:

(6) the ability to have perspective, to contemplate the future, and to think about the future consequences of one's actions:

We recently read portion Re'eh. The Hebrew word re’eh has many layers of meaning attached to it. In its simplest understanding it means “see.” There are English translations of the word that have expanded the definition of the word to mean “behold.” In truth, the Torah demands of us more than simply eye vision. We are challenged to see the physically unseeable and to deal with abstractions of thought and policy and make them real.

Sore’eh is as much a state of mind and contemplation as it is one of actual eyesight. That is why the Torah states that we should somehow see and behold possible blessings and curses in our future – successes and failures. The human eye cannot discern blessings or curses.

What sometimes appear to be a wonderful idea, a great blessing, a most correct policy may in fact turn out to be a cursed disaster. And the opposite is also true. An event or idea that appeared to be a negative may yet be most positive in the future. King David makes us aware of this in his famous verse, “The stone that was rejected by the builders initially has now become the corner stone itself.”

So when the Torah bids us “re’eh” – see the future, so to speak, it cannot expect us to do so wisely and intelligently unless it supplies us with corrective lenses that will enable us to do so. And as the Torah itself reiterates time and again it is the observance of Torah laws and a fealty to G-d that enables us to visualize the blessings that await us and the pitfalls that await those who deviate from tradition and Jewish values. For a long period of its history, the Jewish people had the advantage of having prophets see the future, the right and wrong, the good and the bad, for them. But we must note that the Jewish people frittered away this gift simply by ignoring what the prophets had to say. As the prophet himself states: “And I made your young men prophets but you ordered them to desist from prophesying.”

It is common in human nature to rather stumble along sightless than to glimpse the future good, because truly seeing that future imposes upon one obligations and a change in lifestyle and behavior patterns that one is loath to fulfill. And since it is also very difficult for humans to admit past or present error the chances for unpleasant happenings in the future because of improper present behavior and policies are omnipresent.

The entire book of Devarim is essentially devoted to this issue – the sad consequences of bad behavior and how this affects future generations. Moshe’s frustration is almost palpable in his warnings to Israel. For if there was ever anyone who could see and behold it was Moshe, the greatest of all prophets.

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin's List of 13 qualities to develop goodness - 6. If you offer personal prayers to G-d for your own well-being and success, pray for others before you pray for yourself.

Offering such prayers helps us develop greater empathy for others. Often, when we hear of someone else's hardship, we feel a momentary sense of sympathy and concern, but soon forget about it. But if, each morning, we spend a few minutes praying for others, their hardships and needs will remain fresh in our consciousness. In so doing, we may help them--such as the case of a man who prayed daily for his unemployed friend and was thus prompted to make a considerable effort to help him find work, and eventually his efforts paid off.

chanoch's Commentary: Hatred for no reason comes from the idea that prior to feeling that momentary sympathy about someones hardship we feel "better them than me". or i am glad it is not me.

Contemplate: Know that the commentary is true so how do i eradicate this ugly trait from myself.

Meditation for 25th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes the seventh item is:

(7) the ability to be considerate of others and to be sensitive to their needs

Dr. David Pelcovitz speaks about how we can raise our children to be mentschen. He touches on the idea of creating an environment of love and limits. What does he mean by love and limits? With the right combination of love and limits, children can grow and develop ethical and moral character. That combination is perhaps the most important element in raising a mentsch.

However, if you are looking for specific hands on ways to instill menschlichkeit, take a look at some of the following suggestions:

*Volunteer together.

Nothing raises moral awareness like doing chesed for others. Find a project that you and your children will enjoy doing and make a commitment. Maybe the family can volunteer at a soup kitchen on Sundays or maybe you can do bikur cholim every Friday afternoon.

Regardless of the activity, seeing people in need will give your child perspective on the world. In addition, giving to others will build their confidence and allow them to see themselves as contributing citizens of the world.

*Use your dinner table as a moral forum.

Try to eat together as a family at least three times a week. Then, spend that time discussing your children’s days, current events, and Torah issues. If you use your table as a place for discussion, you will be able to guide your children to think about issues through an ethical lens.

*Have high expectations for your children’s moral behavior.

If you see other children on the playground making fun of someone while your child does nothing, talk to him about it later. Explain that you expect him to stand up when he thinks something is wrong. Don’t allow him to simply do what others do. Gently demand that he stick to his principles.

*Accept mistakes, but discuss them. If you volunteer, set a moral code, and maintain high expectation, there are bound to be mistakes. Your children will occasionally misstep. However, if you are truly a mentsch, your response should be calm and collected. Accept the errors your child makes and simply work together to ensure that they do not happen again. Take every mistake as an opportunity for learning.

A famous proverb states, “I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I do and I understand.” Helping your child “do” good deeds will help him understand the importance of considering others and acting as a moral world citizen

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin's List of 13 qualities to develop goodness - 7. Cultivate and develop your moral strengths. Commenting on the verse "Follow the path of your heart" (Ecclesiates 11:9), the nineteenth-century rabbinic scholar Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin (the Netziv) taught that each of us must find our own way of serving G-d. One person may carry out his Divine service and fulfill his life's mission primarily through Torah study, another through prayer, and a third by means of charity and acts of loving-kindness. Clearly, these are not mutually exclusive, but represent a person's primary focus. It is incumbent on each of us to discover the path for which we have a natural affinity and cultivate it. If, for example, you have the ability to listen to people, console them, and help them make decisions, you might choose to perform this mitzvah for others. Conversely, if you have a nervous or morose disposition, it would be wise not to choose bikur cholim (visiting the sick) as your particular mitzvah. Ask yourself what you can do best in the service of others. If, for example, you enjoy cooking, contribute a home-cooked meal to a housebound person.

Contemplate: what is the correct or best Mitzvah for you to accomplish your life's work.

Meditation for 26th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes the eight item is:

(8) the ability to sacrifice one's comfort and possessions for the welfare of others.

This principle recalls the Mishna:

שלי שלך ושלך שלך, חסיד

[One who says] 'What's mine is yours and what's yours is yours' is pious

The voluntary renunciation of private property, lacking in the ignorant man, characterizes the godly personality while his ability to say, "Enough," distinguishes him from the evil person, who says, "Mine is yours." He does not abandon his property, but is willing to place it at the disposal of others. There is no idealization of poverty here, no otherworldly philosophy, but rather, a correct use of wealth.

The godly person's statement is an imitation of G-d. G-d created the world, it belongs to Him, yet, in His kindness, He provides for the needs of all creatures. The talmudic Rabbi Simlai taught that the Torah begins with an act of kindness and ends with an act of kindness. It is written, "And Hashem G-d made garments of skin for Adam and Eve and clothed them" [Genesis 3:21], and at the conclusion of the Torah, "He [G-d] buried him [Moses] in the valley in the land of Moab" [Deuteronomy 34:6].

Yet there is more in the mishnah's statement than mere acts of kindness and righteousness. He is prepared to give up claims against others, despite the fact that he is not legally obligated to do so. His business actions are "lifnim meshurat hadin"--beyond the demands of the law.

Our Sages said that one of the reasons for the destruction of the Second Temple in 70 CE was that the people of that generation insisted on exerting the full measure of their legal rights.

The most significant Jewish legal expression of this moral stance is the dictum ze nehene ve ze lo chaser--one has a benefit and the other does not lose [by a transaction]. This dictum permits one to benefit from another's property provided that the owner does not suffer a loss thereby. When Joshua crossed the Jordan River, the Tribes of Israel agreed to ten decrees. One of them was that a person could not be prevented from picking weeds (herbs) from another's field; the one benefits from picking herbs for his own use, while the other suffers no loss, since they are worthless. If, however, the crop is meant for animal consumption, in which case weeds and herbs are used as cattle fodder, one is not permitted to gather them, since the owner suffers a financial loss.

The law of bar metzrah, whereby owners of adjacent property have the right of first option to buy when a neighbor intends selling his field, is another application of ze nehene. The neighbor has a benefit, since this gives him a larger unified tract of land with all the consequent efficiencies, while the owner suffers no loss, since he receives the market price for his field.

In all these cases, one person is doing another person a favor with his property. By his declaration, the godly person is demonstrating that the real source of wealth is G-d, who gives this wealth to mankind under certain conditions and for certain purposes. This idea that one's property does not primarily flow from one's own cleverness, luck, or diligence, but is granted by the mercy of the Creator, appears in many of the mitzvot.

One example should suffice here. Fruit of new trees are called orlah--"uncircumcised" fruit--until the fourth year. Just as a newborn boy must be marked with the covenant of Abraham by the removal of the foreskin, so too, the fruit of new trees, the addition to our economic wealth, have to be sanctified before they can be enjoyed. By waiting the required period which, so to speak, removes the orlah, we demonstrate that wealth flows from G-d.

Similarly, every seventh year--shmitah which begins this Rosh Hashanah--the Jewish farmer is told to let his land lie fallow and to declare it ownerless, so that the animals, the poor, and whoever wishes to do so may eat of its fruit. Then in the yovel--the 50th Jubilee year--the land reverts to its original owner, once again demonstrating the Divine ownership.

The rabbis said that one may not eat or have benefit from anything in this world without first making a blessing, thanking the real Source for it. Self-made men cannot really be pious since they ascribe all their success to their own greatness. Perhaps this is why the commandment of honoring one's father and mother, an act between man and man, is placed in the Ten Commandments alongside those acts between man and G-d. It has been argued that honoring one's parents expresses gratitude for one's birth and for their contribution to our lives. This, in turn, is a prerequisite for being able to admit that there is a G-d and that everything, including our wealth, flows from Him. This is the mark of the pious and the G-dly.

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin's List of 13 qualities to develop goodness - 8. Keep a daily "character journal" focusing exclusively on the area in which you wish to improve yourself. If we are honest and comprehensive in what we record, we will soon note patterns in the events that can provide insights into our inappropriate behaviors.

For example, if we are prone to lashon hara(gossiping), we might realize that we are most apt to pass on personal information during lunchtime at work or dinnertime at home. By acquiring such awareness in advance, we can take steps to avoid such behavior in the future (see point 9 tomorrow). Keeping a journal will help us to lead the kind of life we want, instead of allowing ourselves to be controlled by emotions and impulses.

Contemplate one of the items in your journal. If you do not have a journal consider starting one. Perhaps start a journal based on your memory of events in the past week or two. Then consider how to implement this new journal.

Meditation for 27th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes the ninth item is:

(9) the ability to empathize Torah describes the plague of darkness, which engulfed the land of Egypt for seven days.

The Torah tells us that during the first three days, it was so dark that "a man saw not his fellow" (Exodus 10:23).

The story is told of a rabbi, the Tzemach Tzedek, who was deeply engrossed in his studies one night, when his youngest child fell out of his cradle. Even though the rabbi was only in the next room, he heard nothing. The rabbi's father, the Alter Rebbe, was also studying, in his room upstairs. Nevertheless, he heard the baby and went downstairs to calm him. Afterwards, the Alter Rebbe reprimanded the Tzemach Tzedek, who had remained oblivious throughout. "How could you leave the baby crying?" The Tzemach Tzedek replied that he had not even heard the baby crying. The Tzemach Tzedek had what he thought was a legitimate excuse, explaining to his father that he simply hadn't heard. He had been so engrossed in his studies that he was oblivious to everything else.

The excuse did not wash. "You should never be so involved in your own spiritual endeavors that you fail to hear the cry of a child," the Alter Rebbe told his son. The greatest darkness is when "a man sees not his fellow," when there is no empathy. It is obvious that this applies in everyday matters, in terms of not being inconsiderate or too self-centered, and avoiding similar negative traits. This idea goes further, however.

Sometimes we think we are "doing the right thing" -- we are involved in lofty, spiritual matters -- and because of this, we are unaware of what may be taking place in the next room. We should never be so involved in our own spiritual refinement and endeavors that we remain insensitive to the cries of others.

The opposite of darkness is light. Just as a person being unable to see his fellow is like their being "in the dark," being sensitive to and aware of the needs of others brings light and goodness.

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin's list of 13 qualities to develop goodness - 9. When trying to correct a bad trait, temporarily embrace the opposite extreme. As a medieval commentator on Maimonides explains, "To strengthen a bent bamboo cane, we [must] bend it in the opposite direction, until it bounces back to the middle. If we bend it back only to the middle, it will remain permanently misshapen."

Although going to extremes is usually counterproductive, sometimes we need to do so for the short term to achieve balance. For example, if you have a tendency to gossip about other people's faults, for the next week do not allow yourself to say anything bad about anyone, even if it is well-intentioned. If you tend towards stinginess, over the next few months, donate one or two of your best garments to an organization that helps the poor.

chanoch's Commentary: The Talmud teaches that someone may not build a gate on his driveway that will stop his ability to hear the cries of the poor.

Contemplate: In what way have you created conditions or situations that prevent you from hearing the cries of the less fortunate weather a child or a poor person.

Meditation for 28th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes the tenth item is:

(10) the ability to make moral and ethical choices in defiance of strong bodily drives and urges

Rabbi Twerski in another place noted that it is often said that today's generation is the most materialistic and hedonistic in the history of humankind. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the goods of the world. However, what has happened in the modern world is that pleasure has been equated with happiness and has become the goal in life. Anyone who feels that he/she has not gotten their fair share of pleasure feels cheated, and some people, especially youngsters, turn to drugs to find "happiness."

We should not lose sight of the fact that the goal of life is spiritual rather than physical. The Baal Shem Tov--whose birthday was last Shabbat-- was asked, inasmuch as Shabbat andYom Tov should be days of spiritual rather than physical delight, why do we have so many delicious foods? Would it not be more appropriate to eat simple foods and dedicate the entire day to spiritual pursuits? The Baal Shem Tov answered with a parable.

A prince once committed an offense for which he was banished from the royal palace and exiled to a distant village in the kingdom, where he lived a very austere life. After a lengthy period of time, he received a message from his father that he was pardoned and could return home. This news made him so happy that he could not contain him self from singing and dancing. However, if he were suddenly to sing and dance, the townsfolk would think he had gone mad. He, therefore, gathered some of the townsfolk together for a party, and gave them lavish food and drink. Well satiated with food and drink, they arose to sing and dance, and the prince joined them. The townsfolk were dancing because they were merry with food and drink, whereas the prince danced because he was returning to the royal palace.

"A person," the Baal Shem Tov said, "is a composite being, comprised of a physical body and a spiritual neshama. On Shabbat and Yom Tov, the neshama wishes to engage in prayer and Torah study to bring it in closer contact with G-d. However, the body does not appreciate this, and is a barrier to spirituality. We, therefore, provide the body with things it can enjoy, so that it, too, will be happy, and will not stand in the way of the neshama's quest for and celebration of spiritual delight."

Earthly goods enjoyed in this way give primacy to the spirit. Indulging in pleasure, even permissible and "kosher" pleasure as an end in itself, is a corruption of Yiddishkeit. We need not deny ourselves permissible pleasures, but we must take great care that they do not become our primary motivation. It is important to study those Torah works that address spirituality, primarily the writings of mussar and chassidut, and take their teachings to heart. If we fail to do this, we may get caught up in the "hedonic treadmill" that is characteristic of the society in which we live, running from pleasure to pleasure, but never arriving at a goal.

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin's List of 13 qualities to develop goodness - 10. Avoid even sins that seem minor because, as a rabbinic maxim teaches, "One sin will lead to another" (The Ethics of the Fathers 4:2).

The Bible teaches that King Ahab violated the Tenth Commandment by coveting the vineyard of a man named Navot which adjoined his winter palace. He offered to buy the land, but Navot refused and Ahab returned home depressed. When his wife, Queen Jezebel, learned of his upset, she arranged for two witnesses to offer perjured testimony that Navot had cursed both G-d and king, a capital crime for which Navot was executed and his estate confiscated. Jezebel then rushed to her husband with the happy news: "Come take possession of the vineyard of Navot...for Navot is no longer alive; he is dead" (I Kings 21).

What began with Ahab's violation of the Tenth Commandment against coveting quickly led to violations of the Ninth Commandment (against bearing false witness), the Sixth Commandment (against murder), and the Eighth Commandment (against stealing).

Contemplate: How did one of your minor sins expand into major sins?

Meditation for 29th of Elul

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes the eleventh item is:

(11) the ability to forgive Besides Hashem Who forgives our transgressions each moment, the most well-known Torah model for forgiveness is Joseph, who forgives his brothers for selling him into slavery when it becomes clear to him that they have changed their ways.

Joseph's act of forgiveness is reflected in the talmudic teaching that, in most cases, one should forgive a perpetrator who sincerely admits his or her wrongs. Rambam writes that a victim of injury is required to forgive someone who repents through actions such as apologizing and asking the victim for forgiveness. We can infer from Rambam's position that in the absence of repentance, there is no obligation to forgive.

Moreover, to forgive an offender without requiring that he or she repents and/or pays restitution could have an adverse effect on upholding the core Jewish value that people should be held accountable for deeds that cause harm to others. On the other hand, as we have seen in the bedtime prayer, there is a stream in Jewish thought that would encourage forgiveness without repentance.

According to Rambam, first, we must recognize that we've wronged another human being. One way to foster this awareness is to make a moral accounting of our daily behavior. We can ask ourselves every evening: "Have I hurt or injured anyone today, either by acts of commission or of omission?" Then we can reflect on how to make amends.

We can also become more knowledgeable about actions that constitute abuse, such as gossip or slander. And the more we familiarize ourselves with Jewish ethical teachings, the more we'll be able to assess whether our own behavior is blameless.

Second, we should try, whenever possible, to apologize to the person whom we've injured. It's not enough to apologize with words, because words can be cheap. It's very important that the apology also include, where possible, actions of reparation (repairing the hurt) and restitution (restoring the situation to where it was before the misdeed).

Thus I might repair the pain I caused by a sarcastic remark to my child not only by telling her, "I am sorry," but by going out of my way to say something kind and caring to her. Obviously, if we have caused someone financial loss, we have to be willing to pay compensation (even if we could avoid payment through a legal maneuver), but ameliorating emotional pain is far more complicated.

The highest form of repentance requires a fundamental transformation of one's value system andbehavior patterns. For example, a person who has lived his or her life narcissistically may need to realize there is more to life than just satisfying the self. He or she may then resolve to devotehis/her life to helping others. A shift of such magnitude is referred to as teshuvah, which is literally "returning" to Jewish values.

Although we have prescribed days of penitence coming in up after Rosh Hashanah in a few days, one is, in fact, supposed to be engaged in the process of teshuvah every day, every minute. You're always supposed to be thinking, "can I improve myself?" As one rabbinic aphorism teaches, "One should always repent the day before one dies"--and since we never know when we might die, we should repent every day. Yet, just because our tradition says we should always be trying to rectify injuries we've caused doesn't mean that we always find the time in our often hectic lives to do so. It's useful, therefore, to have a ritualized and time-bound set of practices. And not just for the upcoming Days of Awe.

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin's list of 13 qualities to develop goodness

11. When confronted with a situation that leaves you uncertain as to whether you are taking the right action, ask yourself one question: "What is motivating me to act in this way, my yetzer tov (good inclination) or my yetzer hara (evil inclination)?" Just answering this question will usually determine the appropriate course of action.

Contemplate: How and when can i make time in my busy life for contemplating Teshuvah daily.

Meditation for Rosh HaShana - 1st of Tishrai

Today is the Creation of Man

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes the twelveth item is:

(12) the ability to aspire We are to aspire to imitate G-d. This doctrine of the imitation of G-d is related to the biblical account of the creation of man in the image of God, which acknowledges a resemblance between man and his Creator. Yet man is to imitate G-d, not impersonate Him (see Gen. 3:5). The main biblical sources for the injunction to imitate G-d are found in the command to be holy as G-d is holy and to walk in God's way (Lev. 19:2; Deut. 10:12, 11:22, 26:17). Man is to be G-d-like in his actions, but he cannot aspire to be G-d. This distinguishes the biblical notion from the pagan and Christian attempts to have man blend into the Divine. Man should aspire to imitate G-d in loving the stranger (Deut. 10:18–19); in resting on the Shabbat (Ex. 20:10–11); and in other ethical actions. The idea of the imitation of G-d finds clear expression in rabbinic writings, especially the statements of the tanna Abba Saul. On the verse, "This is my G-d and I will glorify Him" (Ex. 15:2), he comments: "Be like Him. Just as He is gracious and merciful, so be thou also gracious and merciful" (Mekh., Shirah, 3). Abba Saul also comments on the verse, "You shall be holy as I Hashem your G-d am holy" (Lev. 19:2) – "The household attendants of the king, what is their duty? To imitate the king" (Sifra 19:2). Another classic expression of aspiring to imitate G-d in rabbinic literature is that of Ḥama bar Ḥanina, who expounded the verse, "After Hashem your G-d you shall walk" (Deut. 13:5): "How can man walk after G-d? Is He not a consuming fire? What is meant is that man ought to walk after [imitate] the attributes of G-d. Just as Hashem clothes the naked, so you shall clothe the naked. Just as He visits the sick, so you shall visit the sick. Just as Hashem comforted the bereaved, so you shall also comfort the bereaved; just as He buried the dead, so you shall bury the dead" (Sota 14a). These rabbis admonish Jews to imitate the qualities of divine mercy, forbearance, and kindness; they do not counsel imitating G-d in His attribute of stern justice. We lift our eyes to the mountains, and aspire to be the most G-dly creatures we can be! As we enter the Awesome Days ahead, when we are close to Hashem, it would be good to reflect on our aspirations and goals and how to achieve them. Rabbi Joseph Telushkin's List of 13 qualities to develop goodness 12. Look at your life from the future. As moral educator Michael Josephson teaches: "If you want to know how to live your life, think about what you would like people to say about you after you die--then live backwards." All of us can strive to leave a legacy of goodness. As the rabbis taught, "Righteous people are even greater after their deaths than in their lives" (Chullin 7b). Those who leave a legacy of goodness affect not only their own generation, but succeeding ones. I was raised on the story of my maternal grandfather, Abraham Resnick, who acquired an apartment building during the 1920s. When the stock market crashed in 1929, he lost his savings, many of his apartments became vacant, and the remaining tenants could pay rent only sporadically. One time, my mother went with my grandfather to collect rents. Inside one apartment, a man was seated with his wife and children. "Mr. Resnick," he said to my grandfather, "we haven't eaten in two days." My grandfather handed my mother several dollars (a large sum of money for them during those difficult times), and told her to go out and buy groceries. My mother returned with bags filled with food which they gave to the family. This incident occurred more than seventy years ago, yet this story continues to affect me. It is now known to my children, who heard it from my mother and who, G-d willing, will continue to be influenced by their great-grandfather's kindness even a hundred years after it happened.

Meditation for Rosh HaShana Day 2 - 2nd of Tishrai

Today is the Creation of Man

"Be holy!" ק דשִֹׁים תִׁ היוּ

The Kotzker Rebbe added, “Kodem a mensch —- un nach dem heilig (First be a mensch — then be holy)!”. Be a mensch!

ובמקום שאין אנשים, השתדל להיות איש

UvaMakom Sheain Anashim, Hashetadal Lihiyot Ish

Hebrew Quotation: In a place where there are no men strive to be a man

Rabbi Abraham Twerski writes the thirteenth item is:

(13) the ability to delay gratification The ability to delay gratification is a key determinant of adult human behavior; it distinguishes us from everything else in the world. Animals are driven by irrepressible needs; hunger, fear, the urge to reproduce. Once a need arises, its fulfilment becomes paramount; all energies are channelled into its realisation. Babies are scarcely different; when little Ya'akov is hungry, tired, cold or has a dirty diaper, nothing will divert him from screaming until he gets what he wants. In contrast, adults have a sense of higher meaning and value, which can often be strong enough to enable us to delay realising our immediate personal needs in lieu of achieving something of greater overall significance. There are dozens of examples of this phenomenon, ranging from the simple decision not to eat another piece of chocolate, to complex life-choices in which personal needs are completely marginalised in favour of national or even world improvement. This is, of course, a function of the struggle between the physical and spiritual drives; while Judaism prioritises the harmonisation of the two, there are occasions in life when the higher, spiritual yearnings must overcome and sublimate the lower, physical needs. The extent to which we are capable of doing this determines just how successful we really are as human beings. As popular psychologist M. Scott Peck puts is. ‘Delaying gratification is a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and experiencing the pain first and getting it over with.’ (The Road Less Traveled) I think that Jewish sources would view it quite differently. While initially there may be a sense that one is scheduling the pain before the pleasure, the capacity to do so is one of the most profound human achievements, one that transforms the ‘pain’ into purpose and possibly a higher form of pleasure itself. While central to meaningful human experience, the ability to delay gratification doesn’t come easily. We don’t naturally graduate from childhood into mature and disciplined altruists. What we gain at adulthood is the capacity to control ourselves, but development in this area is a lifetime’s work. One need look only at advertising and the media to see that immediate gratification with no consideration for the consequences is very much in vogue. High-risk sports, sexual exploration and many other activities that focus solely on immediate gratification are as popular as ever. The descent into instant fun and the consequential move away from the development of quintessential human sensitivities is all too easy. And we have all experienced people consumed with physical needs of one sort or another – they are unstoppable until they have what they want. In position as major leaders, such people can quite literally destroy the world; they nearly have on a number of occasions. The Jewish people are expected to be the world experts in the field of delaying gratification, when necessary, to achieve higher goals. All humanity was originally destined to be proficient in this area, as evidenced by the prohibition of eating from the fruit in the Garden of Eden. Seen through Kabbalistic eyes, G-d did not demand that Adam and Eve forever deny themselves the fruit, only that they wait to eat it until after the first Shabbat. Had they demonstrated their ability to postpone their desire to eat it in order to fulfil G-d’s will, they could have enjoyed the fruit legitimately. Instead, they were expelled from the Garden, forever changing the course of history. We have seen that developing the capacity to delay gratification is central to the Jewish understanding of real achievement, defines us as a nation and contributes to rectifying the primeval sin of the Garden of Eden--part and parcel of our work in the upcoming three weeks. If we finish this holiday season having learned, even a little, to delay our immediate needs long enough to pursue some of the majestic goals of Judaism, then it will all have been worthwhile. This concludes our 45 days [gematria Adam] work on being an Adam--a mensch. We hope it carries you through the Holy Day Season! I bless you that come Rosh Hashanah, we can all call to the Creator, "Today I am a man (mensch)!"* Blessings on being able to start our new with the life lessons learned and internalized! LeShana Tovah! Rabbi Joseph Telushkin's List of 13 qualities to develop goodness 13. Emulate G-d. G-d represents the ultimate biblical model for character building. Deuteronomy 13:5 commands that "you should walk after G-d." The Talmud asks, "How is it possible for a person to walk after G-d? This is what the verse means: You should follow the attributes of the Holy One, blessed be He." For example, the Talmud says, just as G-d clothed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:21), so should we clothe those who lack adequate clothing; just as G-d visited Abraham when he was weak (Genesis 18:1), so should we visit the sick; just as G-d buried Moses (Deuteronomy 34:6), so should we help arrange for the burial of the dead. Over three thousand years ago, G-d said to Abraham, the first Jew, "and you shall be a blessing" [in the lives of those with whom you come in contact; Genesis 12:2]. If we take to heart these age-old Jewish teachings, we too, like Abraham, will become a blessing in the lives of all those with whom we come in contact, and in our own lives as well. *The Bar Mitzvah Speech "Today I Am a Fountain Pen" Sometimes the punch line of a joke becomes better known than the joke itself. Such has been the case with a joke about becoming bar mitzvah. The joke, in fact, is often repeated via this one phrase:" ... and today I am a fountain pen." In the past, a frequent gift at a bar mitzvah was a fountain pen. Before the popularity and price of today's ball-point, a fountain pen was a prized, cherished item not too far removed from a pocket watch. It signified accomplishment, achievement, responsibility, position, and arrival. The giving of the fountain pen was the acknowledgment of entry into adult life, with responsibilities accompanying it. The cliché bar mitzvah speech usually began with "Worthy (or Honorable) Rabbi, Beloved Parents, Relatives, and Dear Friends," and ended with the forceful declaration of, "today I am a man!' To hear a 13-year-old assertively utter this always brings a wide smile. With the giving and receiving of the adult tool, a fountain pen, it was synonymous to joke, "Today I am a fountain pen"