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Parasha Ki Teitzei
In the Torah
Torah: Parasha Ki Teitzei - Deuteronomy - Devarim Chapter 21 Verse 10 to Chapter 25 Verse 19
Haftara: Isaiah Chapter 54 Verses 1 - 10
Important Announcement
The planet Mercury is still retrograde. It returns to normal travel on September 5th.
The positive aspect of mercury retrograde is it brings past people and situations to mind as well as physically so that you can choose to do Teshuvah with respect to that situation and / or person(s).
The negative aspect of mercury retrograde usually deals with communications. So be careful during this period in what you say and make sure the person or persons you speak to are open to hear your words and other forms of communication and that they truly understand what you are communicating.
There are 110 Verses in this Parasha. 110 is the gematria of Hebrew word Ali spelled Ayin Lamed Yood. This translates as "My Elevation". Another translation can be "See the teachings of HaShem.
The essence - energy of Parasha Ki Teitzei
This parasha starts with the phrase "When / If You go to .... War... and if you see a beutiful women you may marry her. The beautiful women is your soul. Where is your soul? Captured by Satan and you need to find her. Where do you find her? Through changing Yourself you release her and she comes home to you. Below you will find more on this subject.
This is the fifth of the 7 weeks of Comfort. This Parasha teaches us that we are in this world to change and we can always change - we have to start to change and HaShem will assist us.
Here is an essay on the subject of Habits and change by a fellow student of Kabbalah. it deals with his own process and questioning change.
"There is nothing greater then when one overcomes his ragalut(his habits) - ".
Yesod HaAvodah.
Habit becomes second nature,
Taanit 4a.
I have been interested in this subject of "changing a Habit" for a long time and Elul is a fitting time to discuss it.
Why is it so difficult for people to change even the smallest habit? Also when they do make changes why is it so difficult to keep them up?
I believe that change is most probably one of the most important ingredients in our spiritual life. A human without change in his life is a life without meaning. Many people think that keeping the status quo is a good thing but actually it is a curse. Life is like a ladder, you have to go up or down, you can't stay still.
chanoch's Commentary
Please substitute the word knowledge when ever you see Belief. This is a very important paragraph to contemplate. The first step to change is the willingness to change.
Being honest with oneself is one of the main ways to measure whether a person is willing to change. Actually I think it is the only way to measure if we are willing to commit to change. Please read the next statement a few times and then think about what it means to you.
Without honesty there can never be spiritual growth!!!!!!
Hashem knows all of our dirtiest secrets. He knows all those things we do in private. I know somebody who picks his nose and then puts it behind the couch. I ask him why he does it; and he says that it doesn't matter because nobody sees him. - of course this is not true except to him. We think that nobody knows about those little deeds, but we forget that not only does Hashem know what we do and think but because he created us, in essence our deeds and thoughts are His.
If this is the case, then we have to be honest with ourselves and realize that everybody, including the biggest Tzaddik, have things wrong with them that need to be changed. Humans have an incredible ability to con themselves. We will make up the biggest stories in our head and before long we will have convinced ourselves that we are perfect and don't need to change, only our friends have to change.
Take these last few sentences very seriously.
A little while ago, I had a revelation of sorts where I realized that I was not so great in something I had always thought I was good at. Hashem helped me see that I had been conning myself for over thirty years. Let me tell you it was a very profound experience because suddenly I was standing in front of Hashem and I couldn't con myself anymore. It was a great feeling of freedom. Be humble and you will see miracles.
chanoch adds: How does one become humble? the process of change helps us to become humble.
Try this, it works.
Anyway we have to realize that we always look at things in our head subjectively, NEVER objectively. When you look at things subjectively, you can never see your faults. This is what I was talking about above. The yetzer hara - evil inclination - Satan within us - is more powerful than us, he has us conning ourselves all our life. All of us!!!!!
Only with the help of Hashem can we win the battle.
chanoch adds: Actually we only have to "Go out to war our Satan within" and HaShem will defeat him / her / it.
I have come up with a couple of questions that has bothered me:
1. Why is it so difficult to change?
2. Why is it so difficult to keep the changes up? Think about the gym. or losing weight.
3. People see themselves as being right and perfect. Why do we always think we don't need to change? Only our friend has to change, not us.
chanoch adds: this is not true we have to change and that is what changes our friends.
4. Where does free will come into all of this?
5. Where does willpower come into this?
6. What does laziness have to do with change?
7. Why are some people very comfortable with problems? They don't want to change.
8. Why are people fearful of change?
I am sure there are more but I think these eight cover most things.
Research has shown that habits can become so ingrained that we often don't realize we're doing them. They become completely automatic.
Look at people who bite their nails, pick their skin etc and you will see that they do these things automatically. Many times they don't even realize that they are doing them. If a person can't change a physical habit how much more difficult will it be to change a spiritual habit.
Rabbi Nachman of Breslev says:
We all like to think that we exercise our free will, or at least that we are not forced by anything or anyone, including Hashem, to certain behavior. But when we subtract all our inhibitions and compulsions, fixed thought patterns and programmed reactions, we are left with mighty little that we can truly call an expression of our own free will. And since it does not behoove us to admit it, we deceive ourselves by saying that our actions and thoughts are "just right" and the way we freely choose them to be.
chanoch adds: Actually the only free will we have is to choose to stop our reactions and to use the tool of binding by striking.
But the test arises when this "voluntary" way of life interferes with the Torah and the path of the Children of Israel, we ought to be pursuing. And then we become quite frustrated trying to change, because habits and routines are not so easily controlled. They are compelling forces, actual spiritual beings. Tzioni, Genesis 2:10.
In the sefer Tzioni explains that these habits are actual forces that take an incredible amount of work and willpower to overcome. For example, out of all the people who smoke only a fraction are able to give up. Again this brings up the question of how much free will we have.
One Rabbi told me that once a person establishes a bad habit, he must realize that he has given away his free choice. The minute a person takes the first cigarette he starts to give away his free choice. This does not mean he can't get it back, it just means that it becomes harder and harder as time goes on. The big con is that the person thinks he has free choice and can stop at any time. This is not true as it is extremely difficult to stop a bad habit immediately.
chanoch adds: The more deeper the habit becomes is made clear when he says "I can stop anytime i want; I just do not want to.
What he has to do is reclaim his free will. What does this mean. He has to realize that he has given up his free will and has to actually work to get it back. Think of losing weight. It is not easy. It is literally a war and it is all inside your head.
To break a habit you need to impress on your subconscious a new thought pattern. This is a very difficult thing to do. First you have to break the old habit and then imprint on the subconscious the opposite to what you were doing.
It is not easy, in fact it is extremely difficult. It takes an enormous effort and most importantly it does happen overnight.
chanoch adds: It is important to realize that many people will tell a person with a habit "replace the bad habit with a good habit". This is Satan lengthening your process. Any habit is a loss of free will. When you stop your habit you retake your free will. When you replace it with a good habit you still have not reclaimed your free will.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I think this is not only the definition of insanity but also the definition of a habit.
The Jews in Egypt saw the greatest miracles ever in the history of this this world, yet every time they experienced some difficulty, they started whining, complaining and accusing Moshe.
I have always struggled with this. How is it possible after what they saw??? We imagine that if we were in that position, we would definitely have done different and trusted Moshe. Yet the Jews in the desert didn't, time and time again.
chanoch adds: and perhaps we still don't.
We learn from this. Even if a person sees obvious miracles, if he doesn't work on himself, he will never change.
This is the big secret!!!
Change means one thing, hard work. Spiritual work is the same as physical work. If a person wants to get fit, it doesn't matter how much one thinks about it, it can only happen if one gets up and goes to the gym.
Once one starts the hard work, the challenge is then to make the change permanent. This is hard work because the yetzer hara is just waiting to trip us up. How many time have people made changes in their lives only to fall back to their old ways after a while. A person goes on vacation and doesn't exercise for a week. What happens when he comes back, he gets lazy and six months of working out at the gym goes up in smoke.
Why is it so difficult for people to acknowledge their mistakes?
It is because the first opinion/impression that forms in a person's mind becomes fixed in place and this imprint is very difficult to change. The mind is like a tape recorder. When one puts an idea on their subconsciousness, it is very difficult to erase. Most of us don't believe we have to change. We see ourselves as perfect and don't see that we need to change.
chanoch adds: Of course we would never say that we are perfect out load.
Humans have an incredible ability to convince themselves that a negative action is acceptable. We use all kinds of arguments in our minds to rationalize and convince ourselves that not only is it not a sin but it is actually a mitzvah.
chanoch adds: A Mitzvah is a connection to Light - HaShem; A negative action is a connection to a lack of Light - Satan. Learn to be honest so that you do not make this mistake.
As I said before we look at ourselves subjectively and think we are ok. Hashem's truth is different to ours. We need to realize that everybody, no exceptions need to do teshuvah before Hashem. We are far from perfect and need to realize this. When we stand in front of Hashem we have to see that we are wrong, have to become humble and do teshuvah. Why can't people see this? Our ego is so strong that it blinds us and makes us think that we are ok. Try and look at yourself objectively and maybe, maybe you will stand in front of Hashem and see / say that we are NEVER right.
chanoch adds: There is no right or wrong; there is only connection to Light or loss of that connection.
Willpower is also a funny thing. When we are threatened or we have a dangerous situation in our life, we seem to be able to draw down on some hidden reservoir of willpower/energy. When we have to, we always have willpower. However, in day to day situations we always seem to fail. Why?
The problem with willpower is that it is very difficult to keep it up all the time. It works for a certain time and then suddenly one day we have a bad day and we lose our willpower and start to fall back into our bad habits. We all have bad days and that is when the yetzer hara gets us. Willpower is not enough, we need other tools to keep us going.
After I have gone through all my questions, I will give ideas of how to effect positive change in our lives.
The next thing is laziness. The Ramchal says that the trait of laziness is one of the worst. Why? Laziness is connected to physicality. Our nature is not to get up immediately and do things. Most people usually put off things which involve alacrity. Alacrity comes from the Latin word alacer, which means to be lively. It denotes physical quickness coupled with eagerness and enthusiasm.
chanoch adds: Actually laziness comes from the root of a human being wanting to be close to HaShem. HaShem has no lack and therefore does not move. We can realize that by moving to fill our lacks quickly with alacrity so that we can get back to being close to HaShem or we can continue to utilize laziness which lengthens our process.
Physicality is the complete opposite. Physicality is connected to gravity and heaviness. Think about getting fit. For many people is it very difficult to get up and go to the gym. Just the thought of it is enough to put it off. Laziness is a big cause of not changing bad habits. We think It is just too hard. When we think of all the effort we will have to put in, we just simply find an excuse not to do the action.
chanoch adds: It would possibly be better if we only gave those excuses to others but the horror is to say that excuse to ourselves and think it is truly truth and we believe it. i cannot say enough how important it is to be honest with ourselves.
If we look at the Tzadikim, we see that they never had this problem. The minute they had to do something, they simply jumped to do it. Think Nike, just do it. How many of the Tzadikim used to work eighteen hours a day, seeing people, studying Torah etc. How many of us would be able to keep up this kind of schedule. Most of us would not last a week. Laziness is one of the biggest weapons of the yetzer hara.
Fear is also a big problem. Most people are very comfortable with their problems. Their reasoning is; leave me alone. Even though my situation is not ideal don't talk to me about change because I don't know what the future holds. chanoch adds: I don't know what will happen to me when / if I change.
I read a statistic that 70% of things people worry about never happen. Think of this for a moment. Haven't we all heard of stories of people being told that they have something wrong with them and they have to go for X-rays and suddenly they start thinking the worst. What was supposed to be just a check up turns into a life or death situation in their minds. The yetzer hara loves to play games with us and fear is another one of his biggest weapons.
Lack of trust(bitachon) in Hashem creates this fear and many times this leads to people becoming paralyzed, to scared to even attempt change. They feel the situation is too far gone and thus they do nothing. The fear of the unknown is so great that they don't even try to change. This is when people become comfortable with their problems and even justify them, claiming that they are not so bad.
chanoch's Commentary
Trust in HaShem says to the person - from the Yetzer HaTov - good inclination - HaShem will take care of this; there is nothing to fear. In my opinion, it is only Vadai - Certainty that will overcome these fears.
Below are some tips to create change in your life.
First make a list of all your good and bad habits. We want to change the bad ones and reinforce the good ones.
chanoch adds: removing bad habits is good to do; removing good habits by changing the actions to a conscious level rather than an unconscious level is the ultimate goal.
People get stuck in a rut, and when they do, it can be almost impossible to get unstuck. Try as they might they can't seem to find a way to pull themselves out.
The first way to make a change in your life is to strengthen ones bitachon(trust) in Hashem. This is the most important thing to do as this will solve a lot of problems. When we realize that everything comes from Hashem, the good and the bad, then we will become more open to change.
Another way to illicit change is to do things differently. Confuse you mind. Take a new route to work. Change you morning routine. Force yourself to do things differently, this will force your mind to be open to change as you are forcing it to do simple things differently.
chanoch adds: this is how to raise your actions to the conscious level from the unconscious level. How many times do you drive to work or to home and do not remember the trip and how you got there?
Changing habits can be one of the hardest things to do. The habits sometimes are so ingrained on our subconscious that we do them automatically. The trick is to try and get yourself to THINK before you act. If you think then you will not do many things that you do automatically. For example, a person who smokes does so out of complete habit. I know someone who goes crazy on Shabbat because he can't smoke. During the week he is ok, but on Shabbat he goes crazy because he keeps thinking about having a cigarette. The thinking brings up the habit and he then starts panicking because he can't have a cigarette right then. During the week he does not feel anxiety like he does on Shabbat. His mind plays tricks with him and creates such a craving simply because he can't satisfy the craving immediately. The habit is so strongly embedded on his subconscious that he doesn't even realize that at that moment he has zero free choice. chanoch adds: And the anxiety takes him out of Shabbat Chas V'Shalom.
Changing ones environment is also a way to "create" change. Research has shown that when people on a diet change small things in their kitchens, it helps keep them on their diets. For example, having a bowl of fruit on their kitchen counter creates better eating habits. Using smaller plates cuts down on portion size.
Think of small ways you can change your environment so you are forced to do things differently. This is a very powerful tool that can lead to big changes.
Affirmations are also a good way to bring about change. What actually is an affirmation? It is an idea that you impress on your subconscious to change a bad habit. When this idea is fixed in your subconscious, you act on it automatically. This is basically how hypnotism works. You don't need to go to a hypnotist to do this. By repeating to yourself over and over the idea, eventually it will be change your subconscious. First you have to break the old habit and then imprint on the subconscious the opposite(new idea) to what you were doing.
To make it work you have to do two things, one use only positive words and two keep the statement in the present tense.
Affirmations Work. In my opinion what is more effective is to use the Hebrew words especially the one Hebrew word that describes the action you want to imprint and then intertwine this with your Hebrew Name or your English Name in Hebrew letters.Negative words will not work as the mind only holds in it what you put in it. For example, the two following statements are basically the same, but to the mind they are completely different as the mind does not know the word "no".
I am healthy.
I am not sick.
I use affirmations every day and I believe it works for me. Try it, however, it does not happen overnight as the ideas you want to get rid of have been there for years.
chanoch's Commentary
NNO is a word that we learn from Satan. We all know that we learn the word no when we are 2 years old. At that age we have no Yetzer HaTov only the Yetzer HaRah. This is the teaching of the laws of reincarnation according to Kabbalah. When someone says to us do you want to xyz. You may say no i do not want to do xyz. Our minds hear that we do want to do xyz because the positive mind does not know the word no. What should we say? NO i want to do abc.
Self control is the key to life and consistency is the key to self control. A person who is able to use the tool of binding by striking, at will, will always be a success in life as it forces him to think before he acts.
Change the way you think. When you change your thoughts you will see changes in your physical world.
Rav Israel Isserlin zt"l said that the nature of a person and the way he usually acts, spontaneously and usually without thinking, causes a person to forget the halachot of Shabbat since, during the regular days, everyone is able to perform regular activities that then become forbidden on Shabbat as part of the 39 forbidden types of work. Therefore it is important for a person to keep Shabbat in mind during the week, and this way he will not violate Shabbat. He says that since our nature is to do things in an automatic manner, like switching on a light, we have to keep in mind not to do these actions on Shabbat.
Drashot of the Ben Ish Chai - Page 293
From this we learn how habits play a big part in our life. He uses the example of us not needing to be reminded about eating bread on Pesach because we are very aware of this for seven days. However, switching on or off a light is such a reflex action, that we have to constantly remind ourselves not to do it. This is the power of a habit.
If anybody has any other suggestions, I would like to hear them.
The greatest gift Hashem gave us is the opportunity to change and grow. The Gaon of Vilna said that the main reason we came to this world is to improve our middot(character traits).
It is far from easy to change one's essence and get rid our negative behavior, however, those who do make positive changes in this world are actually creating their portions in the World that is Coming.
With each moment of life, we are "writing" our life story that will nourish us eternally. We can choose how the story will read. We can improve ourselves by overcoming our negative traits. In the World that is Coming the intensity of bliss one will experience, will depend on the what one has merited in this world.
"According to the effort is the reward", Avot 5:22.
If we don't invest a lot of time and effort into character improvement, it will never happen. Interestingly, an additional benefit of trying to improve oneself and grow spiritually is that one is likely to experience more joy and meaning to their life.
Please take these words to heart and start the process. Remember the goal in life is not the result, but the process. Every day, every minute we have a chance to change. Life goes by so quickly that if we don't start today, when will we start. I was talking to someone the other day who I knew 40 years ago and afterwards was thinking, where did the time go. How quickly it passed. When we are young , we can't see this reality and always think there is time to do things in the future. Realize the future is NOW!!!!
We only need to overcome our nature to a small degree. These small changes will lift us from our present level to the next level.
Remember a spiritual practice is only successful if it seeps into our subconscious and rectifies ones reflexes so that ones acts without thinking.
When we change our middot we reach our potential. Believe in your potential and have the courage to try, and with the help of Hashem you will be able to effect positive and lasting changes in your life.
Elul is upon us and we need to take this opportunity to make the changes we want in our lives so that we can have a good year. We need to realize what a gift Elul is. Hashem is so close to us in this month that we are able to accomplish unbelievable things. There is an amazing Siyata Deshemaya. There is a Gemara that says; if we don't know what we have, then it doesn't belong to us. In the old days, people used to faint at just the mention of the word Elul. It also says that the fish in the sea tremble when Elul comes around. Take this opportunity to prepare for Rosh Hashanah and our sages teach that we are guaranteed Hashem will grant you a good year.
Remember there is never a bad time to tell Hashem that you love Him.
Commentary for the Year 5777
The parasha Ki Teitzei translates as "when you go out".... and completes the sentence as - to war
Actually the parasha tells you to "see a beautiful women". What happens if you are a straight women do you look for a beautiful man or take the words of the Torah literally?
The Kabbalah tells us to never take the words of the Torah literally. Thus the "beautiful woman" is actually a code word for "our souls".
Where is your soul? It is in your body isn't it? NO it is captured by Satan as long as our souls are in the physical consciousness. Thus we have to recapture our souls from the Satan.
How do we do that? That is what the energy of the Parasha gives us - the ability to take back our souls from the Satan. The reading of the Torah on Shabbat, when we hear the reading, we receive the energy to regain our Soul and correct all of the corruption that the Satan causes the soul through its capture. This is the energy of Teshuvah.
Many people think that Teshuvah is saying i am sorry. Teshuvah has two levels. None of these levels is saying i am sorry as a rote exercise like parents teach littel children.
We can not stay little children forever - it is not the PLan of HaShem for us to remain little children. What is the Plan of HaShem?
Become an adult without becoming adulterated - this is the plan of HaShem. Teshuvah removes the adulteration of the child so that child can grow spiritually on the correct path for that soul.
The lower level of Teshuvah spiritually restores the flow of Shefa - good energy to that part of our body and our life that got stopped by our negative actions. The higher level of Teshuvah spiritually changes that negative action to be a positive action and restores all of the energy that we gave to the negative system by the mistakes / sins we did or did not do.
Zohar Portion of Chok Israel
In our generation it is taught that we will have a difficulty with the time to truly study all 10 levels of Torah. The ARI put together a scheule of daily study that generally takes about 1/2 hour or less except for Friday and many people make that additional time up on Shabbat. This schedule is referred to as Chok L'Israel.
Here are links to the 7 daily studies including an English translation of the Zohar portion that refers to the energy of the day. Each day has a link to the Zohar English translation. This translation needs commentary yet i do not have the time yet so be careful in your own personal reading. there is a hidden agenda in the translation.
Sunday
English Translation of the Portion of Zohar for Sunday
Based on Zohar
Translated and annotated by Rahmiel-Hayyim Drizin from the Zohar selection in Hok L'Yisrael
Monday
English Translation of the Portion of Zohar for Monday
Based on Zohar
Translated and annotated by Rahmiel-Hayyim Drizin from the Zohar selection in Hok L'Yisrael
Tuesday
English Translation of the Portion of Zohar for Tuesday
Based on Zohar
Translated and annotated by Rahmiel-Hayyim Drizin from the Zohar selection in Hok L'Yisrael
Wednesday
English Translation of the Portion of Zohar for Wednesday
Based on Zohar
Translated and annotated by Rahmiel-Hayyim Drizin from the Zohar selection in Hok L'Yisrael
Thursday
English Translation of the Portion of Zohar for Thursday
Based on Zohar vayikra 15a
Translated and annotated by Rahmiel-Hayyim Drizin from the Zohar selection in Hok L'Yisrael
Thursday_Evening
Friday
English Translation of the Portion of Zohar for Friday
Based on Zohar
Translated and annotated by Rahmiel-Hayyim Drizin from the Zohar selection in Hok L'Yisrael
This page is continuously being added to as the statistics are developed for each Parasha. Just as the Torah is infinite, the statistics for the Torah are unlimited. Each statistic is part of what the Torah teaches. . . Spiritual Laws and Mitzvoth. As each item is revealed the explanation will be added.
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